Uncle Desperate DID IT!!!!

August 15, 2009

Laidee was sittin outside Grannie Toads bus …chewing on one of her weird snacks…all I could see were – what looked like tiny sparrow legs protruding out of her lips……God Bless her ….I mean I preferred my raccoon sautéed in my popcorn popper….but I guess each to their own…

at least I missed her early morning nude yoga…..I mean as gorgeous as your sister is you DONT want to see her nudely stretchin …..with breast flappn here n there….it is enough to turn a straight brother GAY…..(hmmm)

The recession had hit the Wathcoutnow Valley quite hard…none of those rich kids were throwing their empty soft drink cans out from their Lexuses – as they flew up the highway….so Grannie Toad was quite down, as her income was like non existent….the Pigglee Wigglee cart just stood forlornly like an old mule outside of the bus….wanting to be pushed somewhere more exotic…

As I banged out of the bus…Laidee stopped chewin 4 a sec and said “Great Aunt Claire is lookin for you – she’ll probably ask her bear Koddee to eat you FINALLY!!…. you ARE in DEEP trouble…”

she went back to munchin – and I could swear I saw more of those sparrow legs sprouting from her lips….She MUST be an Avian eating Vampire…..

so tho I was kinda hungry, I went lookin for Great Aunt Claire…..

kickin gravel – I wandered down to the Wathcoutnow River……and my mouth dropped open – when my eyes landed on the far bank where Koddee was sittin staring intently at Great Aunt Claire who had put a rope between two Great African Palms and was trying to do her old tightrope act – (if you ‘member she was one of the Star Acts in The Great Northern Circus…many many moons ago…)……

yeah I KNOW times are tough…but who wants to watch an elderly (she is older than the Pope)….. obese balding woman do a tightrope act……I mean even at a Senior Moment Home….arthritic thumbs would be turned DOWN!

I was about to yell to Koddee – when out of the bushes Uncle Desperate lurched – with his white suit lookn QUITE wrinkled – n his white Panama Hat was TOTALLY WRONGLY tired…….he slipped and knocked Great Aunt Claire off her tightrope …..but fortunately Koddee caught her….before she crashed into the mud flat below…..

I sighed and decided it was time to go lookin for Grannie Toad to gather us all together n take us all back to the tranquil healing place that did not exist physically for us anymore….”Forest Lodge”….

BUT it is so easy if you close your eyes …


3 Responses to “Uncle Desperate DID IT!!!!”

  1. your sis said

    I’m getting hungry . . .

  2. your sis said

    see if I ever do nude yoga in front of you again :-))

    • Matty said

      This was total fiction – I love the sight of a nude woman – doing what was not possible pre-Woodstock – YOU HAVE A GORGEOUS BODY!!!!!

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