Is Your Dick Limp..well Fall in Love or get Viagra

October 30, 2009

Dear C…..

Artist of the Graceful Golden Circles……

that swirl around like two ice skaters on different sides of the Lake

intensely focused on their art…..

… eventually to pause….. look up …to see the OTHER Light …. EMITTING SUCH INTENSE ENERGY….

.. race toward each other …..

slow briefly to touch lips in passing

before leaving…THAT instant Arcing of Emotional Intensity …

skating off toward the Other Shore…..

for the safety that They Only have Known before…….

I thought I had tickets to see Culture Clash tonight at UCLA – it was on all of my calendars – but when I went to the drawer where I keep by tickets….my sock drawer…there was Nada ……which meant I had to call Teo to cancel my reservation he is a Mexican chap – who runs this Italian restaurant I love as it is soo 60’s in Westwood (near UCLA)….for the owner..a very uptight older white man…who lives behind the Orange Curtain….who .got into an argument with his only son …who use to run the restaurant…fired him …his son up and moved his wife and daughter to Dallas Texas…

so Teo who has 7 children…..drives in from East Jesus to really run this wonderful Restaurant – …it is packed as it is inexpensive with basic good food…but is frowned down on by the posh people as …well a Mexican Chef running an Italian Restaurant ..in a old 60’s reastaurant……go figure…

anyway he KNOWS my voice…when I call…. “Mr Robert what day and what time and Table 11 ( the only table for two in the window)…is YOURS”

I felt badly by not seeing him tonight as we talk about Life and family and lovers and things that matter in Life…..

so when my sock drawer produced no tickets I was left with a question mark over my head,,,

wanted to go into Hollywood for some reason…so I looked up shows at the ArcLight Theatre….

so though I told you I would NOT see “This Is IT”….bought tickets online….

I had dinner at The Bowery a New York pub on Sunset Blvd…no one in there when I arrived but one lone male nursing a drink…looking quite forlorn…..at a table near the window….I sat at one of the many bar type tables on the opposite wall….and either I have shrunk or the tables were too high…as I felt like a dwarf (sorry politically incorrect)….trying to read my New Yorker which I had put on the table …underneath my chin..

the only service people in there – the bartender – the waiter…..they were bantering back in forth about god knows what in VERY loud tesosterone fueled voices…
(it is funny but when you get older and gain a bit of Wisdom…you just sigh…)…but I Totally love that kind of experience…..and they really were sweet

“This Is It”…..was quite wonderful…as Kenny Ortega really created a very honest view into the Brilliant artistry of Michael Jackson….I ..for some reason watching it and knowing abit about his background….his mother being a staunchly religious person (Jehovah Witness – who like the Catholics do not accept homosexuality)…and how his father physically abused him….

how he had Vitalago…as I do….and I think his came out after his hair caught on fire all those years ago when he was shooting that Pepsi commercial…(I might be totally wrong)….mine was caused by the murder of my best friend Jimbo ….in my apartment …who acutally would be 45 years old today…(sigh)..

I can totally understand Michael bleaching his skin…as you cannot make it permanently what it was …they told me to take sunlamp treatments…at Kaiser…which I did for 6 months until I said WHAT THE HELL!!!!!…I cannot do this all my life…..

and I do think he was gay…but at the time……as it was for me….(though he was 13 years younger) – for a Black man coming from such a religious mother who had polio at the age of 4….and father who probably suspected his son might be gay ……. as Lee Daniels (the wonderful gay producer of the new movie “Precious”) father did….(Lee Daniels was beaten brutally by his dad..especially when he found his son wearing his mother’s red stilleto’s )..

.it was and frankly is harder for a Black man to announce his homosexuality than it is for a white man…..

but I DO NOT think Michael was a pedophile…..AT ALL …he NEVER had a childhood…his father had him on stage since he could practically walk……I can understand his love for Peter Pan..as when I was growing up Peter Pan was a mythical person that I wanted to Become….

the movie DID show the Genius of MJ…..

so dearest C….keep skating…..focusing on YOUR self….whether or not that skater comes back REALLY does not matter at the end of the day …as you HAVE something NO ONE else does….YOUR DYNAMIC ELECTRICITY…

yeah I know you hate my opinion….but someday you will understand…..once one truly loves oneself it is like FUCK it to anyone else that wants a part of us..

.the wonderful English actress Judi Dench was pursued by a man who would become her husband …for years he was after her and she said something like…well when it rains in Bournemouth I will marry you ..I gather it rarely rained there…for years he sent her roses to all of her performance asking the same question……..well one night she was performing there…it rained and he proposed…she sighed and said well OK……………..
and they had a VERY passionate and happy relationship until he died of cancer……

Love you!!
R

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