Do YOU Need Help?????

February 28, 2010

A couple of weeks ago – one of my best friends – went to a Self Improvement Course – AND she has been glowing ever since -.

For her it was VERY important as her sister had died a year ago – and they were so close – it was hard for her to get over the Death – also she has not had the best of husbands – but she has two fabulous sons…..

She has always LIT up my DAY ….just by seeing her……as she TOTALLY GIVES such POSITIVE ENERGY!!!!!!

is one of the Kindest Most Sensitive persons, to people she encounters….. she cannot HELP BEING nothing but HONESTLY SINCERE….it is almost a curse for her …when you look into her eyes…..well …nuff said …you will KNOW when you meet her

WITH people she knows ..who do NOT quite get the point of LIFE…….she will tell you when you are an ass and to just jump off the train……and hope you know how to roll down the hill..if not …well you should have learned how to…..BEFORE you finally had to face YOUR SELF …and then beseeched her…..for something she could not give you…..

well I was soo JAZZED at her experience…that I immediately went online – and found what I thought would be a Wonderful Self Improvement Course in Santa Monica – and this one was going to be Gay…something I have never experienced

I did “Actualizations” back in the 80’s STRAIGHT actually “Gay” was totally not accepted for the most part…….and fell in love with an Albino Native American who – dressed outrageously – would be Lady Gaga today….he dressed in BLACK ,… ..and wore platform heels.with black meshed stockings … VERY WHITE hair …and VERY noticeable white skin …..and this was the 80’s……he loved drugs – black beauties – he lived out in like a motel near the airport LAX – in a one bed room with his overweight Native American mother…..she would move into the living room …sit in her recliner and watch a soap on TV when we had sex….his skin was SOOO WHITE and SOOO soft …..

our relationship lasted 4 months….my Uncle Sumner TOTALLY accepted Donnie.. and for that I will ALWAYS love my Uncle Sumner …..but the rest of my friends were TOTALLY SHOCKED…..which I LOVED!!!!!!….,…

(guess I take after Mom on her 80th…she threw a party for herself at her house…1 1/2 acres ….mostly gardne……. she wore a black mini-skirt – dark glasses – and her good friend the drag queen Miss Richfield’s wig….and Mom had the Performance Actor Patrick who painted himself white ….pose for awhile nude out in the garden of her house in St Paul before he passed the crudities …which Mom loved as it totally shocked her Republican friends…as Patrick being WAY over 6 feet …well his very white testicles came up to table level …..)

Donnie and I would have Brunch with my Uncle and some of his friends at The Garden District …(which he had backed)…it was the TOP Gay bar/restaurant back in that wonderful pre-AiIDS period of the 70’s n 80’s

everyone from the Garden District is dead …except for the Latin men that were busboys or ran the kitchen ….. …all of my dear friends ….as I ran the office..back then ..n the reason I m alive …..I was monogamous – no one else out of 40 men were …I always felt like I was missing out in that respect …… and it is one of the reasons I do not have many “old friends….

…but wherever I went with Donnie – he was 6′ 2′ and a lot higher in his black platform shoes…people would gasp….as he was an Albino – and threw out this positive Electricity about himself …he just did not give a FUCK…..he totally loved “Blondie” (Deborah Harry ..sp???)……he went to all of her concerts with his black beauties…..and black mascara

Anyway …I signed up for this course…..because of being swept up by the energy of my friend….

well after hearing from my sister … I realized I had to check it out more…

guess the First thing that bothered me was that the higher end hotel they said they had a deal with..

well…..when I called the Ambrose Hotel …… they said…almost embarrassingly… I am sorry but Insight has not had a contract with us for 2 years….well that rubbed me the wrong way …..I emailed Insight …no response until AFTER I had pulled out…a girl said she appreciated my feedback with “Gratitude”…..which kinda pissed me as she did NOT address my issue…until AFTER the fact

but Googling the seminar – I found out more about the man that started the whole thing – “John-Roger”..

whose real name is Roger Delano Hinkins born Sept 24th 1934…….in the small mining town of Rains, Utah…. to a Mormon family….earned a BS in psychology in 1958 etc etc had a “near-death experience for a kidney stone in the late 63’s, after which he fell into a 9 day coma – after this he became aware of another “spiritual personality” that had superseded or merged with his previous personality…..”…..

I won’t go on about the man …..some unsavory sexual bits – and one thing I read online said he felt in Past Lifes he had been Christ, St Francis of Assisi, and Abraham Lincoln…..his church is MSAI …some call it Messiah …

I HAVE to be Honest…it is supposedly a VERY good ….organization…Arianna Huffington whom I adore …was linked with John-Roger way back when her husband was running for Governor (??) …..I think for a lot of us it is the patient growth we learn as the sands though the hour glass pass…..

so I pulled out…..but was committed to the Ambrose Hotel in Santa Monica as I had agreed to their NON REFUNDABLE policy so i could get 20% off …

and when I was on the beach…in the rain …with the Chilean Tsunami approaching today …I thought WHY in the FUCK do you need a “Self Improvement” Course….you are one of the very few kids who has NEVER had a dysfunctional family……..

I guess the only thing I regret is that I am NOT an EXTROVERT…well I don’t regret it …it is just that most people expect it at work…..but I am not a sheep….just a lone badger…

…..but HEY…we cannot all be Cheer leaders…..and frankly have Always been happy being the odd duck all of my life…..from working on the Great Northern Railroad…laying ribbon rail..with a 140 man crew until my wonderful job today…..I was always the introverted Lone Ugly Duckling”….(from Hans Christian Andersen)……

LIFE IS EXCELLENT!!!!….as my dearest friend Jimbo use to say……

AND as FAR as “Getting Help” ….the Key lies within a place most do not look…..

YOURSELF!!!! …it has ALWAY been there and will ALWAYS be there…but you, as I Did , might need some help in finding it…….and you will laugh at yourself…at how easy it was….

Love you all!!!

Donn …it is YOUR turn tonight to keep the fire lit and the dance going!!!
(love u man!!!)

One Response to “Do YOU Need Help?????”

  1. Donn said

    Yes, I share that wonderful friend with you. She shared with me a reading about the difference between helping and serving. In this case she assisted me in seeing the difference between self help and serving yourself. I had my light bulb moment. I guess I am always learning more about myself which helps me see those around me.

    As I’ve matured out of my 20s and grow into my 30s my priorities have changed. I am starting to see past peoples facades and see the how people really are on the inside. As technology seems to isolate us from each other, I am also embracing the willingness of one to let their guard down from the safety of the internet.

    To you my friend Rob, it seems that I’ve learned more from you through your blogs than any conversation we’ve had with each other. I sometimes see the way eyes dance with your coy smile and know there is some much more locked up in there, and wonder what is the key to unlock it. But your wonderful blogs are so interesting and sometimes poetic or just plain funny.

    And, yes I will dance the night away.

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