WILDNESS…………..

October 30, 2010

I was sooo pissed last night (not in the Brit way)…as I had spent 2 hours doing the homework for my next UCLA fiction course…which I have had to drop out of physically as …I get no sleep …or cannot sleep as I have been soo energized by the classes

..n get up at 3:45 every day to be at work by 5…..(the class runs from 7Pm to 10)…I wrote in Google Docs…and sighed when I finished…but pushed some wrong button and POOF….2 hours of writing and editing ….totally disappeared….which Shocked me as I thought Google had safe guards to retrieve things……anyway….will add last night into tonights stream …..
(Our next assignment is to write “Wild”…stream of conscious …surreal….self-aware….)
I had decided to write a story about my older sister …whose life I destroyed when I was born….as she was kicked out of Mom and Dad’s sunlit very large room ..
being replaced by me in my Very White Bassinet…a wonderful, cherubic, gurgling Happy …. baby boy….Dad had a son AT LAST ..
..to the dark – dank – very small room at the back of the house …..near the radiator where my grand dried her urine stained girdles….
she sighed ..picked up her 5 steamer trunks and walked THAT long walk to the back ..the VERY FAR  back of that Victorian house …the one with the turret ….on Fairmont Avenue….which was near Summit  Avenue…where all the swells lived
she would lie awake at night ..next to my grandfather’s old accordion …
..Orphan Annie Eyed….listening to the rats in the wall trying to break through to GET HER….
her room was below the old maids attic room – where Dad had kept her Easter chicks ..until they grew too BIG….and he slaughtered them…..the blood was still running down the faded papered walls…..
Last night I went to my fave Italian neighborhood restaurant Angelini Cafe……around the corner ……and as I walked down through the tunnel of trees …through the leaf strewn sidewalk …(scoozie but that last sentence SUCKS…as it sound so contrived…BUT it is TRUE.)
As I turned East on Melrose and passed one of my fave  places…The Idiot…I encountered their valet parker …sitting on the curb…eating one of the most WONDEFULLY GIGANTIC succulent hamburgers I HAVE ever seen…..my mouth started watering…and it was in a brown biodegradable box so I knew it could not be a Big Smack
Anyway I  encountered a gay guy walking his cocker spaniel…he reminded me of my grands…yes she of the urine stained girdles…her dog had the same coloring…off white and spots of light brown…all I can think of is Pinto…..which I think is wrong …should ask my dear friend Terri…as SHE would know….but she was burying her dear cat who was killed by her dogs …the ones that adopted her….
sigh life is JUST not fair at times …which reminds me of my dear friend Rob  who always says…”Well you know where the Fair is…” meaning the County Fair…..am always Trapped by myself…..when he says that…which pisses me to be trapped AGAIN…..you would think I would learn….
anyway…my grand’s pinto …or is it pimento…(NO)….Cocker’s name was “Flush”….
and as I continued down Melrose ….past the “Chic Dragon” Tattoo parlor…and briefly glanced in to see 3 people being tatted …..I wondered WHY my grand had called her dog “Flush” …yes she was born back in the late 1800”s …before Flush toilets…..she was a Christian Scientist….so she could NOT have meant FLUSH with cash……she is dead..as is her only daughter my mother..so it is one of the things I will NEVER know….
I entered Angelini’s and Jason immediately sat me..in my fave spot in the window….. next to a tatted man eating a pizza..on one side …and on the other  a straight couple….who as time went on WERE Patty and Walter Berglund …from David Franzen’s “Freedom”……
they were DEFINITELY Midwestern…as they were TOO NICE…..(something I was stripped nude in a Montana wheat field for…back in my teens when I worked one summer on the Bones  Brother Ranch …and yes I am Midwestern)….
they had NOT seen each other in some time…he was saying about WHAT wonderful roommates she always had….she sighed and said NO….I had the roommate from Hell….who was on anti-depressants …who was an alcoholic….and fell asleep as her bath was pouring …it overflowed into the dining room below….cost the land lady 10,000 to replace the ceiling…the carpet….you KNOW how alcoholics are…she said as she sipped her iceless water….he smiled back at her sipping his iced tea….
I sighed…into my Maudite beer…..and thought of my sister …in the back…RAT room…..I mean ….this was back at the end of the war…and she DID appear in a photograph with HERO Dad in his Army uniform….in the local paper….I mean ..I DID NOT  get THAT  notoriety as I was gurgling in my bassinet…so why in the fuck should she be mad at me…..
smiling…I got up and left…laughing at Life…..which is so mysteriously wonderful..
walked down Melrose and saw two girls going into the porn/sex shop…realized I needed some white gloves for my East German Army officers uniform for Halloween…
went in….the wonderful girl with the pimples said all they had were opera length …laced gloves….
I paused .. a nanosecond….n said I Will Take Them!!!!!
%d bloggers like this: