Women With Steel Balls….

June 12, 2011

As you know I have always Admired Women…ever since I saw Sophia Loren…many years ago  in the movie “The Two Women”…about the inhumanity of WWII …. being raped and then having to watch her younger friend being raped….. in a  bombed out church…in which they had taken refuge…..

This was WAY before I knew I was Gay…..it is Gay Pride this weekend in West Hollywood ….and the parade today….which I have done for well – I was at the first one 41 years ago…when it was a TOTAL fight for our rights after Stonewall…..it was 1970…and I and my first  lover were on top of what was then the Rexall Drug store on the corner of San Vicente and Santa Monica…this was  before the area of Sherman became the City of West Hollywood…..it was quite wonderful to look down on our comrades peacefully expressing us…some as usual a little TOO flamboyantly…..and how things have changed….
back then there was a HUGE Sheriff’s presence with like 5 Sheriff helicopters circling over…as they thought we all were going to riot like the gays did at Stonewall the year before…..
it was exciting…as it felt slightly dangerous….we were fighting against the “norm”…..and this might go into a male segue (sp?) ….why men do  almost sexual (supposedly “deviant)” things….as there is a thrill to living on the edge….my father took us on life challenging canoe trips…where you were flown into an area in the remote Northwest …of Canada or Alaska ..you were .left …only 3 of you in one canoe…and were expected to  paddle for 30 days….a 500 mile trip….after which the Canadian Mounties would come looking for you….if you did not show up…
when I think of it now…I am sure that the  experience for my father was better than sex… I finally  understand  him  today….
part of it was having to make sure the   two young kids he took  would survive the experience….which by the way I HATED!!!!!  but in the long run….I am so thankful for…as it added a VERY important dimension to my understanding of Life….but it was a Challenge for him…actually being responsible for  our life or death….(today it would be considered child abuse…am so thankful though….it was a different era back then…as I always did trust him …well like any child would their father)
I just came back from Brunch at my fave…The Idiot…and was enveloped by the warm smile and hug ….. of my fave Susannah…..she has this natural energy that just makes you laugh …as she is SOO into LIFE…is an actress…a dancer…has a wonderful lover……
this morning I awoke earlier than I had thought I would ..being Sunday after a night out…. ….5 AM ..so  I turned on the tennis channel to watch yesterday’s semi-final …at the Queen’s Court in London…..Tsonga won…..and then drifted down to the kitchen to  see that my roommate had turned on the dishwasher the night before  which made me frown as I was sure we could have added more plates and glasses…so I refused to empty it at the time…..and WHY did he have a brown paper sack from Trader Joe’s on the edge of the kitchen ……………. when he had put all these bags to use for shopping ….. the week before …… down near the garage door……
but anyway .I heard the NY Times and the LA Times being thumped on the bricks… over our security gate….so I went out and gathered them up and ..I took my carrot juice, my yogurt, some cheese and crackers  back up to get into bed and just read..as Tsonga was beating Ward on TV…..
I then changed to a Charlie Rose program ….that I had DVRed from the week before …(I learn SOO much from Charlie’s shows)…..he had David Brooks on….a writer…and a columnist for the NY Times…his last book was The Social Animal …..he is known as The Liberals’s favorite Conservative…and I can see why…as he TOTALLY makes sense….so I picked up my droid and ordered The Social Animal on Amazon….
.
what caught my attention as I was reading the NY Times…and half listening to David talk……there were actually two things…one “Who Do You Think (know) You Are???”….which will be the subject for a future blog..
.and then he said that men who lost their fathers when they were quite young….become Super Achievers….as they are afraid that everything they have will be taken away from them…….which TOTALLY rang a bell about my Dad who lost his parents when they were killed in an auto accident…they were motoring with .their friends the Fields in Florida and their  chauffeur ran into a gasoline truck due to downed  power lines because of    a hurricane …..they were all burned to death…..tho my granddad lived a few days …long enough for Dad to go down and sit next to him…in the hospital…Dad  was only a freshman at Carleton College….
at the Idiot I read….well two  interesting articles in “New York” mag…..one about Jame McAvoy…whom I have always admired…..who is the star of the latest movie “X-Men”….he is…………… “32, the son of a roofer and a nurse, still carries a blue-collar chip on his shoulder: a mix of envy, determination, and fear. “Fear is really powerful; it’s really useful to me,” he says of the nerves he still gets on set. “Posh actors, they don[‘t have that raw, fucking terrified thing behind the eyes.  It comes from a different level of self-confidence, or entitlement.”
From this I realize I have to use my “fear” to my advantage…he goes onto say something that resonates with me…”I’m instinctively very suspicious and guarded, and I try to counteract it so much.  I find reason allows you to be open, and my only sort of ambition in life is to try and be as open as possible.”
while I was working out at the gym last week….there came on CNN Kevin Rogers….who was being interviewed for his feelings after seeing the comedian Tracy Morgan…who in his show in Nashville totally trashed and lambasted  gays…saying he would knife a son if he found out he was gay….that if gay men could take it up the ass…well you have to listen to Kevin’s commentary and original response to such a hateful evening from a man he had once   admired on “30 Rock”….
Kevin before he went on CNN …had to call his mother …..to tell her that he was going to be on CNN….and to admit to her something she always knew…that he was gay…..(sigh)…nothing like mothers…..mine when she asked and I told her…she said how she felt so  “chic”….to have a gay son…..
I really am not into Facebook as I am such a private person…but I “friended” Kevin…..who has been friended by hundreds…probably thousands …since his appearance on CNN….but he has that wonderful Southern  genteel  quality….as he  responded and thanked  me….
and then finally what brought this whole thing up was …reading in the New York mag….”What Was She Thinking.. The irresistible inscrutability  of the betrayed wife.”…
“of those women who’ve done the marital perp walk these past decades:  Hillary Clinton, Princess Diana, Donna Hanover, Elizabeth Edwards, Jenny Stanford, Dina McGreevey, Elin Nordegren,….Maria Shriver, Anne Sinclair” and now since this article was written Huma Abedin….Anthony Weiner’s wife……
they ARE  the women with invisible penises…….they see beyond the physical…into the Soul of Life…..and for these women ….us penis weighted down men should be thankful….for their inherent  wisdom…..who fight against fear…to BE!!!!..(sigh!!!) and make us men WHOM we should and Can BE…..

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