October 29, 2011

I have just come back from one of my favorite restaurants…Galanga…a family owned Thai restaurant…where I asked one of my favorite servers..Sean…(who has studied to be a monk)….how his mother and father were holding up what with Bangkok so flooded now..fortunately they are OK so far…but have moved most of their possessions to the second floor…just in case…….

Sean said that though the flooding was totally unusual – that developers had filled in some of the canals in Bangkok to build condos etc….and that the flooding would not be AS bad had this not happened…

During dinner I read an article in the current New York mag about the Madoff family…how Stephanie….was  “the first at the door”  to publish a book “The End Of Normal”…she had been married for only 4 years to Mark when his father confessed to them..Mark went on to commit suicide by hanging himself with a dog leash on the second anniversary of his father’s arrest….

Andrew the other brother was “pushed over the edge” by this publication…he convinced his mother Ruth..who was against all of this public airing of their dirty laundry…to appear on 60 minutes which airs tomorrow the 30th of October.

I just returned from a family get together for this beautiful, spiritual wedding of my youngest brother…to this absolutely beautiful woman…(physically and spiritually)…they had both been married before…and really had thought their sell by date had passed….met each other at a meditation group that they were both attending….one thing led to another and as the higher spirit that guides us all – fell in love…and married yesterday at a very moving ceremony.

Ohh before I go on about the wedding….there were like 13 of us all staying in this wonderfully reconverted Red Barn outside of Madison….which was spacious enough to give us all the physical space we needed so we weren’t in each other’s hair……

Well I totally have fucked up – as one sister launched into me…about how I had thought of her so little all these years while praising other women in my blogs and  emails….well I was totally shocked…as I have always loved her so much and really admired her more than my other siblings as her life….is devoted to the earth….farming…which I know is a very physically demanding and financially challenging existence…but she loves it…..for which I am totally Happy…..

She is a VERY beautiful women…..with these dazzling deep glacial blue eyes that warmly twinkle when she smilingly talks….at the wedding she was wearing a hat that my mom had worn many a time……back when I use to take her to the Dakota Jazz club in the Twin Cities…..there was one point during the wedding service when I looked at her and she was smiling at me….and I immediately caught my mother’s warm twinkling smile….it made me catch my breath..as I felt my mother’s warm spirit emanating all of a sudden from my sister…..it was so comforting…..

My other sister I managed to totally offend  by bringing up a topic I had no idea she was still  sensitive about….it goes back to her young days……we were all in the main living room of the Red Barn…..I was trying to compliment her but it totally back fired…she left the room…a few minutes later….and I KNEW …I had done something wrong…..which she told me when we were alone the next morning…and well I felt sooo sooo badly as I would NEVER hurt her…as I love her as I do the rest of my family SO MUCH!!!!

My brother’s wedding was held in this wonderful Nature Preserve…..Sandhill (?) Cranes ….in the sky …. migrating south..it was cold for me…like in the 50’s…but gorgeous Maria…who has lived here all of her life…..wore a wonderful sleeveless white wedding gown…..and man she was out in that element for like 3 hours…greeting and kissing everyone after the ceremony….

but the most moving moment came …as the two were standing with their spiritual guides…exchanging their vows…..

I have to preface this by saying that my mother’s favorite entity was a dragonfly…. ..she wore a dragonfly necklace….dragonfly earrings…and the hat my sister wore had a dragonfly on it…….she once said that if she ever came back it would be as a dragonfly….

Well as Sumner and Maria were exchanging their vows…a ruby golden dragonfly alit on the Scottish beret Sumner was wearing….we all just totally gasped and started weeping….the dragonfly stayed there for at least 3 minutes and then took off into the sky……..

3 Responses to “Families”

  1. daidie said

    Rob Lovie – this is beautiful – and will go with the pictures we all have. I adore your blogs. xxd

  2. xxRob:


    The spirit of Jane alighted in the form of her desire: a dragonfly. The dragonfly, in almost every part of the world symbolizes change and change in the perspective of self realization; and the kind of change that has its source in mental and emotional maturity and the understanding of the deeper meaning of life.

    Sumner and Maria’s love and marriage was a testament of what a dragonfly represents and how the river of their own separate lives had given them opportunity to close their separate hearts and have the energy of love become rancid. Their vulnerable and sullied souls chose depth and their hearts followed and surrendered to the spiraling of the life force and its unfolding bloom. That is, they discovered the light in each other and summoned the courage to its crescendo of love’s call and response. An authentic love that reveals the scarred as sacred.


    Of course, Jane appeared and stayed. As Gershwin wrote” Our love is here to stay…” I was so moved by the the “uprising” of the Mattesons to bear witness to this dragonfly wedding of a brother whose body and soul has traveled over many mountains and crossed many seas.

    I love you all deeply, serenely and you all are a nest for me.

    Thank you. Love is the African greeting- which translated is:” I see you”. Not i possess you, nor I know you, but, I see you which is deeper and is boundless.


    Dragonfly love, to the family of my heart and soul,

    • Rob said

      Catherine – how beautifully put…you can always capture things that are invisibly floating in the air and make them so wonderfully visual…
      Love you!!

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