LIVE Before it is TOO LATE!!!!!

March 3, 2012

“Robert you must LIVE NOW …..while you are young…don’t hesitate…just DO it…as when you get older…it will have been too late.”   so said Beatrice…as she was blowing smoke rings into a cloudless sky….20 years ago…

she volunteered where I work….and was probably in her 60’s…or 70’s ..

little did I know at the time she was an Italian Countess who was a rebel and married “beneath her status” for love …..she   had to flee Italy during WWII…for America …after her husband was   killed in a bomb that fell on their village..which also killed her parents ..

…she was very young at the time…but a Stunner…just Gorgeous…..from the old photographs she showed me……her husband was …a George Clooney/Cary Grant type..she fled with her only child – a son….

she never talked about her past or even that she was a Countess…I some how got it out of her…she had NO money…but just that GREAT Italian Zest for Life……she unfortunately is gone now….

I don’t know why I thought of her tonight..

it might have been because I went to see my oldest friend Jim in his God Awful Rehab joint….which is very clean and the employees could NOT be nicer…it is just the comatose – semi-conscious – the no legged inmates that are there for the rest of their lives….that just totally Rip me apart…why oh why is Euthanasia NOT allowed…BECAUSE of money…so these rehab places can go on milking the state – the gov’t – the insurance companies…..no one really cares about the people …they are just following the almighty dollar….

Jim had a hideous week…he has been there since Pearl Harbor Day…and either his operation was botched …or what they are saying now is true…that when he had his stroke…and hit the concrete payment ..breaking his shoulder..and chipping a tooth….that he also tore a nerve in his neck …as his right hand is a claw…he cannot move his fingers

last week he had an MRI… cat-scan..etc…and will find out Monday from a new doctor….but this week..he was constipated for 5 days…and begged for some strong stool softener after enemas did NOT work…well one nurse told Jim he was giving him a “SUPER” Pill…..well that did not work until this poor nurse…reached into Jim’s ass to pull out the blockage…and then an explosion happened all over this poor nurse…all over the walls and floor…and Jim said …well THAT day did not get any better…as he had several eruptions later

Love Jim to death…I have know him since 1969…when I moved to LA…..he was my Uncle’s lover at the time…..I said Jim I do love you but am glad I did not visit you THAT day..

or it could have been …that due to a friend at work who has just started TM (Transcendental Meditation)…that has taken me back to my meditation…where  I AM conscious of the moment (FOCUS  on it)… as  the day goes on…rather than thinking of anything further …

that day …Wednesday…was amazing…as a walk I have taken for 12 years ..to  the gym and back….well I noticed things I had never before observed…one was the bark on a tree I have passed for eons…I Thought…WOW what NEAT bark……

or it could have been because I dined at my Favorite Neighborhood Thai restaurant….and  Sean (my waiter)…who is in his 20’s and I have know for many years..

.he was the man who went to Thailand last year and …and the Buddhists have a thing where if you become a monk for like 2 weeks…do social service…shave your head etc…and totally give up EVERY physical and monetary thing …to enter a state of calm  internal serene consciousness ..well it somehow allows your mom to go to Heaven…..

Anyway Sean was just bursting at the seams to tell me that he was embarking on a  business venture…exporting French wine to Thailand…his sister married a “wealthy” French man and lives in Paris…and she know this vintner ….and Sean has friends in Thailand…

but he said to do this ..well Thailand puts a huge tariff on imports …plus you have to pay people under the table…etc etc…..

I asked if Thailand did not have French wine…he said oh yes…but this winery is unique….but only the rich will be able to afford it… he said the economy in Thailand is terrible right now…the minimum wage has not gone up but EVERYTHING else  has …..

I told him NOT to get his hope up…but that I was SO GLAD he was doing this…as I said anyway you look at this it  will be a Unique learning experience….and Sean YOU have to LIVE!!!!

he said Rob…if I do make any money…I want to build a school back in Thailand…and allow the children to have a free lunch……..

5 Responses to “LIVE Before it is TOO LATE!!!!!”

  1. Tom said

    Right on , Rob – thanks for the reminder. You’re a great guy!

  2. susi said

    Glad you missed the explosive moments at Jim’s Rehab Center…. poor guy. And well, euthanasia is legal here in this state now — though, I think it’s called assisted something — but would we really use it? If we could be as present as you describe walking home and really SEEING the tree, then maybe we would get something out of the most mundane existence, constipated or not…

    • Rob said

      So True Susi…it is just if I was comatose and totally bedridden I would wonder WHY not check out….but then again after being in the rehab joint….I realize how easy it is for them to over-medicate you…where the family would be unaware…and they just wanted to milk the system….kind of scarey…hopefully I will just die in my sleep :)….

  3. Jonathan Agronsky said

    Rob,

    Was so intrigued by what you wrote to TL about your dad and his grampa–who brought Nazis to justice (and vice versa)–I clicked on your blog and found your riff on your deeply wise ol’ friend Beatrice, Buddhism and being in the moment, nursing home cash machines, etc.

    I regret that I never got to know you well at STA, but I want you to know it is a true pleasure to belatedly make your acquaintance today, through the compassion, eloquence, and wit you have revealed in your writings.

    Warmest regards,

    Jonny Agronsky

    • Rob said

      Thanks Jonny…I think in those formative years of Life (STA)…we struggle so much with our own developing individuality that we are unconscious of those around us going through the same process….See you at one of the reunions! Cheers!! Rob

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: