Fading Friendships……..?????

June 14, 2012

I was just with my oldest (and dearest) Gay Friend ..Jim…the guy who broke his shoulder…many months ago…

He has, Thank the Powers That Be,…has almost totally snapped back…tho “snapped back”…is hardly the phrase to use as it has taken since December….6 months ….since his Titanium Shoulder Replacement…

We met at Hamburger Mary’s which is right up the street from where he lives and across from City Hall…he has a dear friend..who is in his 30’s (Jim is in his 70’s)….the guy is the Head Bartender..straight….(not that that  matters)….but he is one of those wonderful Midwestern guys…who just Cares!!!!

When Jim was ill he would visit him more than ..well really ANY of Jim’s close friends…or even his niece who lived in the area…..who visited 3 times at the most………

We were talking about “friendship”…and Jim has this old “friend” whom he has known ….since they both attended  High School in Morris Illinois …his friend’s  family ran the local hotel…in which  they had an apartment ….his father was originally from the  Ukraine….which prompted Jim’s gin swilling  mother

(who tried to rape Jim the last time he saw  her….(he fled that night)……  he did NOT attend her funeral))….to say that Bob was from the “wrong side of the tracks”….. which she told Bob one evening after she had had a few gimlets……much to Jim’s horror…

but Jim’s “Best Friend” Bob has NOT contacted him ..since before the accident last Fall…

I in my Christmas card to his girlfriend, Rosie, told her about Jim’s accident…well Rose DID call Jim ONCE…saying she would be down to see him….but never did…and Bob…who obviously was told by his girlfriend (yes Bob is Gay..but for years did string Rosie along…and back in those days…well things were TOTALLY different than today…he would have sex with her like on a Saturday for years but had to watch a gay porno to..

…I DO adore Rose….as Bob was shit to her at one point…and YOU KNOW how I LOVE  women….Bob grew up GORGEOUS….Golden Haired boy….with girls fawning all over him….but somehow age equals us all out to be Ugly as we grow into our last chapter of Life…..

the last time I saw Bob …many years ago..well he was self  dyeing his fading hair with some God Awful cheap hair product…that..well was totally NOT flattering…

Jim  took care of Bob and his affairs when Bob was terminally ill….several years ago…..(to the point where Bob’s brother said Jim you can have Bob’s car when he dies)……is totally confused about WHAT he did to warrant his “BEST” friend’s lack of concern….

I said well people get strange when they get older…or so it has been said….and you people from Morris Illinois …have ALWAYS been strange…(according to my Uncle who was Jim’s lover)….

my uncle said that Morris Illinois must be the CHEAPEST city in the world …as every person he met from there (being just Jim and Bob)…were SOO CHEAP….that if they opened their wallets he really expected moths to fly out……..well Jim has really changed since my uncle’s death………..

My mother’s “best” friend……once Mom became ill…which she was for so many years til her death…NEVER called…

….Mom …all her life had to initiate the call to her “best” friend….

I don’t understand ANY of it…..

is it money that raise people above others…

no I think it is basically a self centeredness (sp?) ….lack of  self esteem that  thanks to having money insulates people from reaching out….to those whom have become useless due to illness……

my Uncle Sumner in 1969 …when I arrived on the LA scene…told Jim to ALWAYS take care of me….

(which Jim told me that summer day in 69….as  we walked on the beach as waves crashed in…. below my Uncle’s house….above the cliffs near Malibu)

Jim has been Totally Faithful to my Uncle’s Request..

My father developed Parkinson’s …many years ago…..and I will NEVER forget one afternoon…when I had to help him woodenly walk to the john…and help him sit on the commode….and then have to WIPE his ass…my father (who was a BIG Jock in his younger and ever older years ..one of the reasons we did not relate as well as my mother and I) said to me in his Parkinson’s choking, drooling speech…WHO would have EVER thought…this would happen to me..

Jim and I both LOVE this old movie called “Old Acquaintance” ..where Bette Davis and Miriam Hopkins are best friends but during the course of Life…fight over the same men…and physically try to choke each other to death…..but at the end of the movie….they celebrate New Year Eve …ALONE together …(without a man)…. toasting each other as they sit in front of a roaring fire

I told Jim years ago…after one of his many physical replacements….that I WILL ALWAYS be there to “wipe your  ass”…….

which I WILL…as a Midwesterner does NOT go back on his promise!!!

One Response to “Fading Friendships……..?????”

  1. TRUE BLUE GOSPEL.
    A call and ALWAYS a response.
    The true jazz of love/listening and the river of water which is life and humanity. Your heart promises. Your fear engulfs and your courage is your heart rising.
    x Catherine

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