There is an adaption of Hitchock’s 1938 classic film tonight on PBS’s Masterpiece Theatre…but got a terrible review….

I have not seen the original film in many a moon…so I went to Netflix and watched…

well…you cannot tamper with a classic…it will Never Be AS Good……I just loved the old film as much as I did way back when…

I guess part of my love for it…

is due to travelling on trains ..as way back then my grandfather Paetzold was Secretary/Treasurer of the Gt Northern Railroad (now the Burlington Northern)…..I often traveled with them ….(actually my Great Uncle Sumner Matteson supposedly photographed their logo…a mountain goat on top of a craig)…

my grandmother wore white gloves…hat with attached small veil… back then one could wear a REAL mink stole….( one NEVER wore pearls in the morning…had to be WAY after lunch)

we travelled in JJ Hill’s (the founder of the Great Northern RailRoad) private car…which was divine …we had our own butler ….(and YES he was a wonderful wonderful white gloved (dark jacket on during the day..white at night)…. Black man…thinking of Lee Daniel’s Excellent Film “The Butler” that I saw yesterday)…..

the dining cars back in those days..well were UNBELIEVEABLE…when I think of Amtrak today…..back then they had white linen table cloth full silver service…with a Fabulous chef ( yes Black)..I remember going into the chef’s galley and being surprised he could turn out so many wonderful meals from such a small space…..he was such a genuinely nice man….

I read an article today in The New York Times “Style” section by Amy Sohn entitled “Her Turn To Scratch an Itch”……which basically talks about the IMPORTANCE in a relationship…(and I think this applies more to straight couples than gay)…that they each allow the partner THEIR own SPACE…vacation from having to do ALL the chores of raising a family…..time alone to themself!!

she says in talking about one relationship …

“Most people don’t get to sit outside and read a book for 3 hours”….

“Exercise is another luxury that often eludes a harried…” partner…

“these working vacations (where you are both raising the children)….are also furloughs from the remote-control war of married life”

“Ms Wade said that her husband’s pet peeve is when she leaves a wet sponge in the sink instead of wringing it out and placing it on the on the side”

well I TOTALLY understand THAT.. ..as when my cleaning lady leaves….she always turns the sponge …bottom green abrasive side up…and I like it down and JUST the yellow showing…..it makes me mad for a second as I reverse it…I think….. DOESN’T she KNOW it does NOT look Aesthetically right bottom up?????

I have had her for 30 years (sigh)

Which reminds me of a story my Uncle Sumner told about his parents (who were killed before I got to meet them)…

my Grandmother Matteson would do an annual Spring Cleaning…with the help of the upstairs maids…(Scandinavian back then)……

my grandfather was going out to play tennis one morning…walked into his closet to get his tennis racquet…only to find it NOT there….

he yelled out “Adelaide.. …WHERE is my Tennis Racquet”….she walked into his closet…and looked and said well there it is…pointing to the other side of the closet….

where upon my uncle … a young tiny kid entered the room as my grandfather said “It is NEVER to be THERE!!!!”

and watched them throwing the racquet back and forth across the room at each other as they swore with a lot of “Gosh Darns”…..

When I look back at MY relationships…(5 of 2 years or more…the longest being 12 years)…….I was a failure…I have no one else to blame…as they were all decent people…some I look back and loved more than others ….I was just trying so hard to find myself and be accepted…..to fit in….

I think it was due to the period after WWII ….. men back then…the fathers leaving the responsibility to raising children to their wives…my father never told me he loved me until he was on his death bed……

my wonderful nephew…and his Beautiful wife…are examples of HOW a family SHOULD be raised…BOTH working Equally on it…(they have 3 great children)……

of Giving each other their space to be alone…whether it is out with a friend…or working out on a run through the park……or just to be able to sit alone to read a book……

In “The Lady Vanishes”…Margaret Lockwood …”Iris” forms a relationship with ..the absolutely wonderful actress Dame May Whitty “Miss Froy” as Iris is enroute on a train to meet her intended…well Miss Froy looks after Iris after she was hit outside the train by a flower pot falling from a balcony above…she is kind of woozy…but thankful to Miss Froy…as time goes on Miss Froy vanishes…and Iris is told she IMAGINED her…that Miss Froy NEVER existed…..

the relationship was formed spontaneously….no one could see it happening…..but they BOTH cared for each other…

thanks to her concern Iris saves Miss Froy’s life…..

The next time I live with someone ..well they have to be 100% honest with me as I do with them…..relationships can be so fucking difficult!!

…..any relationship requires a total give and take …being sensitive to your partner after you are mad…simmer down and REALIZE it is NOT all about YOU!!!!

as in your hearts of YOU want be together forever…..

if you don’t …………… the “Lady” Vanishes……

(sigh!!!)

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