Razors

August 8, 2013

I bought a razor (disposable) recently…… as a coupon came with the morning paper….it was for one with 5 BLADES!!!!…

I had graduated from the single old nondisposable ones Father use to shave with…where you would turn the handle and the front would open and you could insert a new “safety” blade……(which needed to be done at least once a week )….

I have tried electric ones..from time to time but never been THAT happy..as after awhile they felt like they were plucking hairs………and then about 10 years ago…a good friend of mine …Dave…said he shaved with only disposable razors…which at the time he said it…I thought Ohh that is a No No…something father would never do…

but after that ….I did try the first two bladed razor…(disposable)..graduated onto the 3 blade one… and then somehow ended up a few years ago with a 4 bladed one called the “Quatro” (due to another coupon in the paper)…which I REALLY like…..as the razor does last me 3 months…well maybe at least two….

but this 5 bladed razor called the “Hydro”….I tried this morning…and well…it is like shaving with a hockey stick…. I .will try it one more time…but it is just TOO big

and on the way to the gym today I I bought another pack of 3 “Quatro”‘s with no coupon… for $5.79….6 months I figure……well say 5 at least…

a dear friend of mine….dropped his electric “manscape” razor in the toilet…and last time I was with him was looking for a replacement……I wanted to ask him WHAT he manscaped ….as he does not have profuse hair…

so my mind wandered to his balls…his pubes….

which reminded me of the ONLY time I have “manscaped” down there…was way back ….

when that word had not been invented yet….

and I was having an affair with my boss and his wife..(I met him in West Hollywood…before I met her …she had not come out yet (and never did) due to her job in Houston….and I think she knew about us…)

..he use to jump my apartment security walls to bed me…which no one had done before…..

but when I was in their house in Houston … she INSISTED that I “manscape”… she even put shaving cream and a “disposable” razor in their shower …so I did it for the first time…and ended up nicking my balls…

She was the one who slept (?) in the middle and would say “Boys…if ANYONE is going to get fucked tonight it is ME…”

we did really have a GREAT time……she was a wonderful dancer…and dressed in stilettos…had a mange of curly long black shoulder length hair…slim…crotch length mini skirt…….and just wonderful Intense Blue Eyes……….

whereas he was not… he danced (and fucked)…like most straight white men back then….and we would go to the local Gay Houston disco’s and carry on until they closed…..Elton John’s “Crocodile Rock” was popular…and when I hear it today..I think of him..(he died last year of a brain aneurysm)

we would ..go into Jack In The Box’s drive through window..order 3 “Caesar Salad Burger”….which was wonderfully greasy…but we felt it was healthy since it had so much lettuce in it….

then drive home to have wonderful sex…

one night I photographed the whole thing… a roll of 24 exposures……..of us all ..well nude….having champagne in their Living Room…

Paula called me the next day when I got to St Paul …I was on my way to our Family reunion in N. Wisconsin……and asked me to PLEASE destroy all the prints and the negatives…..(looking back I am SOO glad that Instagram and Facebook did not exist)…..well I did destroy everything…except one picture that was of the 3 of us laughing…Paula in the middle of course….but NO physical bits showing that would have upset my grands…..

I still look at it and smile……

It is funny in Life…the role razors play…………………..(sigh!!!!)

One Response to “Razors”

  1. Richard Steele said

    Hi Rob I hate buying razors, can’t understand why you have to pay $20 for 4 packs of blades that I am sure cost about $.50 to make. Not happy with the Fusion which is even more expensive. Can’t imagine “manscaping”, did something similar once with a very strange designer in Milwaukee –oh, well, what ever makes you happy.

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