December 1, 2013

I motored back today from Palm Springs with my dear friend lead footed Yanek driving and my oldest friend in longevity Jim, who was my uncle’s last lover, strapped in the front seat……

a warm smiling weekend full of happiness but then again of sorrow….

I sat in the back of the car so I could read the Sunday New York Times on my phone…and make a list of things I had to do today before my roommate….the wonderful stunningly beautiful in soul and body – Meg gets back…..

she was with her lover at his parents house in Oregon for the last week…..

I sooo wanted to get the house decorated for Christmas for Her…as she is one of the nicest people around….and will be leaving me after a wonderful year for a TV show that will start filming in Toronto (?) the end of next month….the last two years I did not do really my roommate came from an Orthodox family and I did not want to offend him…but I DO Love Christmas as it takes me to magic and the make believe of childhood that I still hold onto…and will die with…..and no my last word will NOT be “Rosebud”…it will be “Forest Lodge”

Lead Foot got us back in like an hour an half…didn’t break any of his previous records (to those that don’t know it usually takes over 2 hours to drive from LA to PS)… I was able to zoom to Whole Paycheck as I needed salad and berries and Christmas wreaths……was glad to see that the wreaths are still from the USA …as were the strawberries…the black berries were from Ecuador I think – the raspberries from Mexico – and the blueberries from New Zealand….which pisses me off as my usual Farmers Market in Santa Monica – all the produce is locally grown….I just don’t understand…guess as with most everything it is money…..

well I whipped through Whole Foods in 10 minutes which allowed me time to have a leisurely lunch at my neighborhood pub…”The Idiot”

.I sat as usual at the bar overlooking the kitchen…and my favorite chef…a young Mexican….was busy grilling eggs and steaming mussels…but had enough time to smile and wave at me….later came over and asked how my weekend was…and what did I eat…I said Turkey…and I said what did you eat…he said my girlfriend’s mother made this wonderful Mexican spicy chicken (he named it in Spanish…but it was lost on my Anglo ears)….and he said she also cooked a turkey….smilingly he rubbed his stomach and said I STILL feel FULL!!!!!

I don’t know but I have always been in love with the kindness and honesty of Mexicans and Hispanics …they are so family oriented….and they genuinely care…

Every year I give at Christmas times $100.00 to my favorite servers who are less fortunate than I ….and this guy will be one, there is an Argentinian at LaLa’s who is the second – and a Mexican at Subway (yes I now eat lunch at Subway…after Koo Koo Roo closed – it is $5.75 for a salad – the poor quality chopped iceberg lettuce is probably flown in from China)….but the guy there is so nice……I love it as it is jammed packed with MTA (bus drivers) and your average Joe….a lot of stories there……

Palm Springs is fascinating for me …as there are so many gay men my age….who have retired there or moved there, work there or commute to work……

My Wonderful friend Ron Hughes (who is a Realtor)….has put together a group that someone named the “Boozie Bunch”…think it was brilliantly fascinating Larry who knows EVERYTHING one could want to know regarding Jewish history….he and his wonderful husband Ed are having the largest Jewish Gay Wedding to happen on the West Coast in May…and as with the Jewish calendar it has to happen at a certain day and a certain time…..

like Hanukkah and Thanksgiving of this year…fell on the same date…which will NOT be repeated for thousands of years again…Larry’s stories are just so so wonderful…he grew up in a kibbutz in Connecticut (???probably wrong….)…..I could just sit at his feet and have him tell stories forever…….

But the Boozy bunch gets together every Friday and Sunday….at different bars….and one attends only if one wants to ….the thing that hit us all was that Jeff’s son had suddenly passed on….we were all shocked ….

the faces as people wandered into Toucan’s expressed the black armband feeling of sorrow we all carried within our existences ….

Unexpected Death is such a heartbreaking experience …especially one’s child…’s lover…one’s closest friend…

The love and best friend of my life…was murdered in my apartment 15 years ago….

we were not lovers …he was much younger than I but we lived together and shared the joys and sorrows of Life

…we had our separate lovers…but one day he said “Robert can we ALWAYS live together…you with my lover and I with mine…or without any of them….”

it REALLY touched me…..we both truly cared for each other…in that Invisible, Indescribable, Non verbal field of Life

He was killed…a half hour after I left our apartment to shop for clothes for an upcoming trip… his ex lover Roman…who just happened to arrive as I was pulling out of the driveway of my apartment building…. …

he was carrying what looked like a bundle of laundry.. he said “Robert..I am just returning Jimbo’s clothes………….he did me Wrong!!!”….I said “Roman I Never get into anyone’s personal issues”

little did I know that in that bundle of clothes was a pistol with which he murdered Jimbo and then himself….

losing someone suddenly that you love is so sooo difficult…you blame yourself….you appreciate everyone’s sympathy…

but NO one knows the depth of the feeling YOU have and now HAD……………….

as the old song “What Becomes Of The Broken-hearted” goes:

“What becomes of the broken hearted
Who had love that’s now departed?
I know I’ve got to find
Some kind of peace of mind

I am still not over Jimbo’s death – though time has softened it….

My wonderful business partner Liz Nesser (Clark Gable’s sister-in-law)….said her mother always told her to make sure she wore clean bloomers everyday

saying” “You Never Know when you might be hit by the Wilshire Bus”…….

2 Responses to “Bloomers”

  1. Richard Steele said

    I love the story, so sorry that we did not connect this past weekend in Palm Springs, perhaps sometime during the next holiday–hope so. Hugs Robert and Richard

  2. Diana Skrah-Devers said

    Thanks as always Robby for sharing – I learn more about you all the time – I look forward to one day sitting with you, just you & me, sharing our life stories over a bottle or 2 of win – I am so happy you are part of my life and Uncle Jimmy’s – hugs & kisses – see you on the 11th.

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