Puzzles

December 13, 2013

I have finally realized after all these years….

To DO what FEELS good…..and NOT what THEY want you to…….or what you THINK they expect of you

As a child…I loved solving Mathematical puzzles ….to work, fret, worry……. and Finally…….. KNOW I got the right answer….was and IS so Satisfying

that is the way I feel about writing….except for last weeks…..and was too tired to correct…a mistake… a wonderful man pointed out….that I really did not go any where with that last blog……

most of my life has been stressful…from always trying to be what I am not…nor was meant to be….always seeking other’s approval….trying to be a jock…trying to be not gay in front of other people…..seeking my father’s approval by always going on his canoe trips in the Arctic North…..cooking and supporting…..7 lovers……

I could be a muti-milllionaire now….if I had not been passionate about giving…..as my first house back in 70’s was 3 storied……must be worth 2 million now…as it was on two lots….had a swimming pool…..I bought it for $20,000…sold it for $35,000 due to an open septic tank I could not afford to replace..

..it sold 6 months later for $70,000..it had belonged to the actress back in the 40’s Madeline Carroll… had a fabulous view down over the Sunset Strip …at what was Schwab’s Drug Store…which is now a multi-complex……Sundance Theatres being one tenant now ……

I lived there with Thomas Smythe…..it was his intense blue eyes that got me….he was a carpenter…and did ALOT of the remodelling….we turned the house into 3 flats…one of our tenants was …shoot what was her name…..an actress who was dated at my house by Lucy and Ricky Ricardo’s son….she worked and maybe married Steven Segal…..

after Tom and I broke up….and I went back to my first lover Paul Millard…I rented out my flat to Jan Savage..

…which was on the ground.floor ..well sort of …as the house was built on a hill…and you entered off the street which was basically the top floor…and then went down stairs….except the actress above me could enter off of the deck built above my kitchen…

Jan was the most professional …what should I say….lady of the night….I had ever met

..she landed Chandler Kibbee…he was the VP of Parliament Cigarettes and lived with his wife in Montana or was it Wyoming….he paid a year in advance for Jan …..

she met him in Beverly Hills by dropping a lot of packages in front of him at Cartier’s… as she was crossing the street ….

she was a tenant who ALWAYS had problems…

she had one of those awful to me Toy poodles….think her name was Frilly…

well Jan called one day to tell me that Frilly had saved my house from burning down….as she smelled smoke and raced to the kitchen, pulled open the oven door and pulled out her burning pork chops…..

and then there was the time Jan called and said she could not close the refrigerator door…..I motored up…there was a broom stick that had fallen into the crack of the open door…..it was then I realized Jan was really into drugs…something in my naive youth I had never been exposed to……

and then there was the time I went up to water the plants…and happened to look into my living room….and see Jan making out with a “friend” Ruth Ellen Taylor….whom until that moment I did not know wore a wig…or swung both ways….

Ruth Ellen is TOTALLY another story…..she lived in an exquisite apartment in Alfredo de La Vega’s Grand Building on the corner of Fountain and Crescent Heights in Weho…well before it was Weho……

she lived very well ….. as she sponged off every one she could encounter for which she had a GREAT talent….she knew how to kite a check (which is when you were able to back then have multiple checking accounts and write one check to deposit in another account…as back then it took several days for checks to clear)

……she knew ALL of the Maitre d’s at every grand restaurants in town….would get the best table but then admit to those that she took….. that she had forgotten her wallet…..

she gave a Fabulous Halloween party on Formosa (?)…a house that was being torn down for McDonalds…..she had fog machines…tombstones on the front lawn the old actress June Allyson was there…and I will never forget…a guy went out to piss in the backyard bushes..well the window where he was pissing was broken and he urinated all over June’s shoes…..

Ruth Ellen introduced Paul and me to Paul and Eva Kohlsman…

Paul Kohlsman made his money inventing the Altimeter…the gadget that tells planes how high they are….they lived in a VERY Grand Spanish house up at the top of a mountain in Bel Air….Eva – I learned later was a lesbian….they had a house man.. Kenneth Rolf ….Paul and Rolf were German….and I think at one point lovers

when the notorious Fire hit Bel Air…….. they were in New York…they called Rolf and asked him to throw all the silver into the swimming pool so it did not melt…which they did before they all the servants fled….

we motored up to the Kohlsmans back in ?69 or was it 70 to see on TV …… the first moon landing….

pulled into their circular courtyard with the Fabulous spewing skyward fountain in the middle ..which is something I will never forget…

Rolf had an Oriental (now called Asian) butler serve us libations in the fabulous book lined Libray that I loved as it had one of those Library wooden ladders that ascended two floor…to the books and deck above…

A Few years later I heard that Chandler had dumped Jan….and she had committed suicide……

So my basic point

it takes many years to like ourselves….some don’t ever….

but honestly YOU WILL….if you hold out…and believe in the magic of yourself

And…when you do…you will just laugh at your earlier stressful years……

it WILL bring a Smile to your lips..

as YOU have solved the most challenging puzzle you will EVER encounter in your Life……………………..

One Response to “Puzzles”

  1. Richard Steele said

    Love love love it!!! And oh so true. Thank you so much R&R

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