It was a cloudy day…in the low 70’s as I ambled down to the Idiot…….

we have NOT had rain for too long!!!!!

The Idiot was jumping …a bit more than usual …maybe due to the Grammy’s this eve…..

“Junior” (Jose?) was Totally in Action ….. behind the eating bar overlooking the kitchen that I always sit at…

he stopped long enough to say “Hi My Friend” and come up and shake my hand……

…….I asked him if he was going to marry his girl friend soon…he laughed and said well she gave me this ring…(a silver ring on his left finger)…..to make other women – I guess think I am married…but NO…I don’t plan to marry for a few years……

and when I was reading my magazine…another waitress whom I knew came up and said “I am going on break…just want to thank you for the tip you left us all during the holidays….as no one else did it….and it meant a lot to us…”

well this put a lump in my throat…as I had forgotten…..and it was not that much……..

Several wonderful articles I read this weekend…The New Yorker’s “The Prisoner of Stress” and the New York’s “The Collateral Damage of a Teenager”, their article on Richard Sherman “Much More Than Just Talk”, plus the great interview with Frank Angella that Charlie Rose did…..gave me pause for reflection…..

and I also watched the Australian Open where Stanislas Wawrinka won…beating the 1st and 2nd top seeded players….he was known to say “How you manage adversity determines your success”…and on his forearm he has a tattoo that reads “Ever tried, Ever Failed. No matter.Try again. Fail again. Fail Better.”

the article in New York….made me wonder how much my parents suffered from my years of adolescence…..

of course times have changed so much since then…when I think of my wonderful nephew and his wife…..and the care they give their children..

as back in my day we had help ….and I think Mother worried more about her tea parties with the Washington group and her husband than she did of any us …..as mothers and fathers do now….

the article say’s “parents go from their kids’ protectors to their jailers’….ingratitude is already one of the biggest heartaches……it forces them (the parents) to contemplate themselves as much as they contemplate their own children….”

It made me wonder what my Father’s parents felt…as he WAS a hellion…a total jock..

for fun he use to, with his friend Roscoe Finch,…climb up on top of the Trolley cars in St Paul….pulling down the pole that connected them to the wire above that gave them their electricity ….creating them powerless…so they could collide with anything in their path……

the police were closely after them once… but as he jumped off he twisted his ankle…Roscoe raced in and helped him escape the police…(sigh)….that was a “Bromance”… Father said Roscoe was a bit “slow”…..a Tall Large Boy/Man……they were devoted to each other…..Dad in my younger years took me back to the Midwest and introduced me to his relatives…it all looks like a Black and White movie now…when I reflect back …extremely moving…sort of like meeting Bonnie’s (of Bonnie and Clyde)…her relatives….I expected an old machine-gunned riddled car rusting in the front yard of the old family typical Midwestern house!!!!

he use to talk about the trolley happenings in fun…like an accomplishment…which in a way I guess it was for a young kid….but lets face it Totally Wrong…..but one of those adolescent things that some kids go through…….I hate to think what would have happened back in the day had he been Black…and his father NOT the president and Owner of a Bank……

and the reason I compare past life…between Black and White people is well several …but today due to reading the article in the New York Sports section (something I NEVER read)…. today….about ….Richard Sherman…the man who is known now for his “ranting” after the win by the Seattle Seahawks that put them into the Super Bowl…he IS a man Who has FOCUS!!!

I think the only bad thing that this goody two shoes did was steal a light bulb from a dime store when I was a freshman at college…at the instigation of my roommate Jerry Jorgensen….as he thought I was TOO white….and man did I feel guilty

well I have always been too “white”…..have preferred going off into a field of wheat with my books…to read and look at the sky…but THAT is just the way I have always been …can’t change that anymore than Stossel can change his stripes

I have always suffered from anxiety….less so as I have grown into my later years……but the article in The New Yorker is based on a book that Scott Stossel wrote “My Age of Anxiety”….he is currently the editor of The Atlantic

but man the phobias he grew up with ..well are beyond my comprehension…from cheese, public speaking, flying, heights, closed spaces, separation, to a squash match….led him to a “whole medicine cabinet of psychopharmaceuticals…..not to forget alcohol”

he has been in therapy since the age of 10…..(I was thinking if he had been a man of color or a man with lesser means…he would NEVER have been able to be in therapy..)

he has gone from Freudian analysis to Kierkagaard thru psychopharmacology to a “humanist- existential practitioner” with whom he is with now……

at the end of the article…it says it really is ALL biology…..what we are dealt with by our genes…

which makes me worrisome for the future as people will check out their genes to see what they have…it is a scarey Facebook thing that will happen…where people will shun those with confused genes…..

but if they do…they might miss out on a relationship with ….Picasso – Magrite – Gauguin – Banksy – me – and Sherman

I have always wanted to see Shakespeare’s “King Lear”…but have hesitated …I don’t know why….

it is a play that most actors don’t do until they are in their later years….which I understand now…

King Lear..wanted to give up his crown..as he had achieved everything in Life he wanted….he had all the successes that one usually strives for…he just wanted to exist without all the trappings and be happy…..he was slowly going “mad”

Frank says “There is nothing else when you get older but the fundamental things …nothing else…..”

when you are young you live Life so fast …you have no time for anything else….

when you get older….it isn’t just love and work…..it is a lovely bottle of wine – sitting in front of a fire……

he said the most important thing in Live is

“FOCUS”

he said once you pass out of adolescence – the most important thing you can acqure is Focus….

one person he TOTALLY admires and says who HAS IT …is Beyonce

as I was walking back from the Idiot I reflected on my life…and people of my age

…so many lose focus ..well some never had it…as they are steam rolling to the misconstrued “Golden Year” of retirement……
only to die unhappily a few years later….

so FOCUS!!!!

%d bloggers like this: