Goldfinch

January 1, 2014

When I read a novel…if I TRULY like it ….I find myself identifying with the protagonist.

I am 75% into Donna Tartt’s “Goldfinch”…. and totally identify with Theo Drucker….but when Theo gets so heavily into drugs…..or alcohol it upsets me…..as I know he knows he should NOT keep walking down that rocky volcanic lit path into Hades

when he awakes from a passed out stupor in some at first unrecognizable warzone of a room….amid the debris of failed lives…..

I feel I HAVE gone through all of this and it TOTALLY exhausts me….

I thought of Theo when I was out dancing last night with my dear friends Nabil and Jeff…..we were at Toucans which had a mixed crowd of races and sexes…who were tearing into the New Year…..

one skinny twenty-somthing guy was Twerking so well it put Miley to shame…MAN could he twerk….as some hungry turned on kid was gyrating into his twerks…..

I thought of Theo’s friend “Boris” as this twerker…

all of a sudden he turned to the rail and hung on and passed out…slowly crumpling onto the rail ….he had been drinking some frothy BLUE alcoholic drink that as he slowly passed out was being edged in slow motion off the shelf onto the floor….he was beyond drugged out…….

and then at this point the Hispanic girl to our left….. who had been dancing with her Hispanic boyfriend…started yelling at him…like she was about to slug off and pull all of the hair out of his tatted skull…..

(security was called)

Needless to say my celebration of the New Year was a far cry from my family…who were doing things that were wonderfully spiritual in sweat lodges…watching the fireworks over San Francisco….just reflecting on their lives…. what they can do to give more to Life….

Jebb who sat next to me at dinner …. seemed to me to border on tourettes..something I know nothing about…..

he is SOO energetic…with a kind of twitch….he is …so madly wonderful..

earlier in the evening at cocktals at Nabil and Jeff’s fabulous house someone pointed Jebb and Joe out…..saying well Joe is very friendly but the other one is totally aloof…which made me immediately curious about Jebb

Jebb turned at one point to me and asked if I believed in the After Life…and I said instantly NO….which made him tap his lower lip and look skyward…as though he was pondering if the painting just pulled out of a pillow case was the TRUE 1654 “Goldfinch” by Carel Fabritius

Jebb is such a wonderful character to add to my tableau…he grew up in Iowa…but never had heard of Decorah…which made me wonder if HE was Boris from the Ukraine……Decorah is where my father’s family came from before their St Paul years……

his father died when he was 7….he has like 7 or was it 9 brothers and sisters….two of them halves…he hated his stepfather…his mother was TOTALLY upset when he told her he was Homosexual…but he really feels she ALWAYS knew it but wanted to lay back on her divan fanning herself so she could suffer…….

Jebb grew up on a farm…and knows how to make fabulous butter…from Dill to Strawberry…well anything you want….am sure if Boris asked there could be a Mary Jean butter…so Michael you don’t need to look for brownies anymore….since you do not like to smoke…..

Jebb must be 43 as he graduated in 1988 whereas I …in 1964 and am 67….his husband (they are married)…is just so wonderful….a big man with FABULOUSLY Thick silver hair….that even Rita Reitzel was jealous of …and Jim has Gorgeously THICK hair…..as a joke he can pull and move it so you think it is a wig..people who do not know him…well their mouths just drop to the floor……

There was one point I was dancing with Nabil …and the strobe lights were throwing these splashes of silver across his luxuriously dark shirt…and at the same time throwing spots of colors on the lower part of his slacks….and I pointed it out to him….

He said “Robby…you know we will NEVER have this Moment Again”

I paused for a nano-second…..and said

Nabil you ARE Fabritius’s TRUE “Goldfinch”…..

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