Coming Home

April 11, 2014

Tonight as I was ambling back from LaLa’s, passing one of the many tattoo parlors on Melrose … a straight couple ahead of me….in their 20’s….he was wearing a Kilt with that red so familiar Scottish plaid with a matching tam….she was wearing a nondescript hoodie and shorts with a marigold beret…

he had a pigtail that reminded me of the pigtails that the “Orientals” wore way back then…in the B/W Charlie Chan movies……tightly braided…..that hung down below his shoulders

at the same time …two old Woodstock duffers came toward me …probably my age…somewhere after 60…

..one guy had his long shoulder length grey/black hair held back into a ponytail by a black velvet ribbon…..the other one with grey below the shoulder newly washed Full hair….had a black T-shirt on that said “FUCK EVERYTHING”

I smiled…

and I do so hope that this area does NOT become gentrified in my life time…but know that is an impossible thought

I read two interesting articles in this weeks New York mag…

one by Maureen O’Connor entitled “Playtime”

with the warning “Beware: We are about to talk about rim jobs. In exquisite detail”

well I Never thought straight people thought about it …much less women…..

she started out by saying a friend of her’s “Maya” greeted her by saying to the assembled women

“So is butt stuff a thing we’re all doing now?”….and goes onto say “Oral sex is the new sex, and rim jobs are the new oral”

I was introduced to it by my second lover Roger..who was into EVERYTHING….loved amyl …..loved good weed……who was also into Golden Showers….(that happened only once)….

in retrospect he was the BEST of my lovers as far as sex….

tho I have to go back to college where Dorothy…a Taiwanese girl whose father was head of the Taiwan Air Force…taught me the secrets of prolonging a sexual experience…..looking back I really owe her a lot!!!!

she WAS the cleanest of all my partners!! which UNLESS you are in an alley mean a lot…….

Let me tell you those who have never tried rimming…if you are over 40…Forget it….and it only happens if you are Madly in Love…..or under some influence…..

otherwise it is distasteful

I remember meeting a former girl friend of one of my mother’s “crushes”for dinner in Minneapolis…

I had met her daughter in London….we had spent the day together…

ending up at a dear friend’s flat..(whom I totally loved but could never live with) in Kennsington…

a TOTAL alcoholic …who never had any ice…tons of vodka but no tonic only orange juice…

the daughter had a WONDERFUL time….with my dear theatrical friend David…he smoked like a chimney….ash trays full of old fags everywhere….

back then I smoked when I drank..which with “Davina” was all day…

he introduced me to the London “trannie” (transexual) bars in London’s basements ….

what in the haze you thought was a Full sized women you were to find out really was a married bloke..most likely a pig farmer from way out side London………….. in his dress n cheap wig n terrible make up..

David I did love so much but I never understood how his wonderful tad younger handsome lover Pablo put up with him…..

anyway this female friend and I were catching up after my meeting her daughter in London….and we were talking about love life…she said well she wasn’t happy…as she felt she was NOT pleasing her lover….I said well maybe he is gay..she said No…….

I said well I found that massaging his prostate or putting her finger up the anus….might be quite satisfying…

she said she would try it…

The second article is “65…Learning to love middle age” by Mark Jacobson….

the post war “boomers” sure had it better than their parents or grandparents….probably better than the generations to follow…..only in the sense that we saw such a leap in technology and civil right freedoms that as children we never dreamed possible…..

as Marks says: “there was no such thing as YOUTH until we came (along) with the invincible troika of sex, drugs, and rock and roll”

he goes on “One oft-cited study is the so-called U-shaped happiness curve, the theory that human contentment peaks primarily in the early, preadolescence years and Again in Old AGE”…

this is Very true for me..

my mind has definitely changed, my body has changed internally….and my face looks like all those old men I still avoid…

BUT ……I have NEVER been happier…

as he goes onto say: “to be older is to be empowered to simply not give a fuck”

I NOW understand HOW my mother metamorphosised (sp?) into this FABULOUS unknown Gorgeous Butterfly after my dad’s death…..that stunned everyone!!!

her life WAS so different for the 10 years she lived after my Dad died….

she became whom she always wanted to be….she gave one party that she named after a play we saw in NY…where it was the first time we saw On Stage a woman sit down and piss into a toilet….

for the party she had toilets put all over the yard …(her back yard was quite big…she was in the country)…..under the apple trees …

she had this Wonderful Performance actor “Patrick” who is like 6 feet 4….arrange himself at one part of the far yard as though he was a Greek statue….(he has a GREAT body)…..he was totally nude and a white wash covered his body…….

Her friend and secretary Margaret had people set up round tables over her back yard…..

well after about 30 minutes that Greek statue started to move…he came down in his nude whiteness with a silver tray of Strawberries

…asked my VERY conservative Republican Aunt Barbara …whether she would like one…she looked below his hand to see his balls resting on the white linen table cloth…

she waved him away and said “I Think Not”

This party was the fist time I realized WHAT great legs my Mom had..as she was wearing a mini-skirt, a pink boa, dark glasses, and the drag queen “Miss Richfield”‘s wig…..was stretched out on one of the garden’s chaises..

I was dressed in my leather ….my chain necklace…..

it was one of the BEST parties I have ever been to in my life…

my mother’s liberal friends were totally amazed and so two thumbs up……

her conservative friends were TOTALLY appalled …..that this sweet meek woman…”Bob’s Wife”….had changed SOOO much in the later part of life…with those distasteful toilets all over her back lawn..

which makes me think of the Donnelley’s doing the same thing at my sister’s wedding dinner

sooo many years before in the DC house of our youth…..Long before my Father retired

…I think it was Bobby Donnelley who had a toilet placed in the back yard for the bridal dinner…….

and my Aunt Barbara was there ….she was totally APPALLED ……that THE “Donnelley’s could think up something so inappropriate …much less that my parents would allow it…it made me 45 years ago fall in love with David Donnelley’s family!!!

So when you pass 60……

You Can Be Whom You ARE!!!

AS You Finally Have Come Home!!!

One Response to “Coming Home”

  1. Richard Steele said

    It is so true that you can become the person whom you want and like when you reach 60+, we like each other and don’t want to be another age–especially not younger. Well, maybe for a day or two, but love our present (39+). R&R

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