Never Let Go

May 25, 2014

There is something so wonderful and comforting in the “familiar”…

that one lives with daily …whether it is a lover (16 years ago for me without one now…though who knows whom the winds of time will blow in)….

your favorite pillow…I have 4 on my bed…but one is my favorite…

and there is for some reason only ONE pillowcase that has that softness that none of the others have…don’t know where it’s mate went…..

..a blanket…or the way things are set in your house…from a picture of dear friends on your desk….I even have an old Silver topped en scripted cane that I picked up at an antique sale at Daytons in Minneapolis many years ago…it is kind of battered but says “F. T. Wooly…Hong Kong …21-2-06″ …(Feb 2nd 1906)..

I look at it and do wonder WHO F.T Wooly” was…..

I bought it not because I needed it but have always loved those old Black and White movies with men in Top Hats .. dressed in tails …… with their silver headed canes….

I couldn’t afford it but thought the Hell …how often will I come across this comforting artifact again…..

it is odd but the “what the Hell …just DO IT” moments in my Life I have NEVER regretted…

it is how I bought my wonderful townhouse…my Realtor…(Michael Collins)….picked me up at the Gold Coast where I was with my dear friend Jim Reitzel…..after a few cocktails….he took me to see 3 dreadful places in West Hollywood…and then one across the street from where I now live….and I told him I did not like any of them…he said “Well the one across the street from this one is out of your price range….”…I said “Let’s see it “….

When I walked in I KNEW….

I said Michael “I will take it….”

not knowing how I would be able to pay for it …..

at the time it was right after my dear friend Jimbo had been murdered in our flat in the building I owned…left by my Uncle to Jim Reitzel and Jack Behrendt …across the street from Weho’s Tara…..

so I planned that Monique would move in with me….-

she was a friend of Jimbo’s who was staying was us when Jimbo was murdered…they were about to go out to lease a new car for Jimbo..

…I had left the flat to shop for the annual family summer meeting at Forest Lodge…

…..and saw Roman as I was pulling my old Benz out of the driveway

…he was walking to see Jimbo..carrying in his arms a big bunch of what looked like laundry..

I rolled down the window to say Hello…he said “Robert…Jimbo has done me wrong…I said Roman…I never get into differences with friends and their lovers..”

..I knew that Jimbo was trying to break up with him…but Jimbo was such an accomodating person.,..could NEVER tell someone that the relationship was over….so would go with Roman to a bar…and flirt with another man….hoping that Roman got the idea……

Roman went in to our flat….Monique was there to go out to help Jimbo select his next car to lease..(I had co-signed for his first as he had no credit…the Mustang’s windshield was smashed due to another jealous lover being dumped )….

Monique was scared of Roman…

he had motored down to San Diego with us the weekend before as Jimbo and I participated in the Pride Parade for West Hollywood that we were cheerleaders in…..it was a long drive due to traffic…Roman worked cleaning two different airlines…late at night…talked of his youth and how his mother planted these seeds in their back yard…but Nothing grew…..(later I realized that Jimbo was the BEST thing to Ever happen in his life)

Jimbo was in the shower….when Monique looked through the peep hole…and went into the bath to tell Jimbo that Roman was there….Jimbo…said Monique..don’t worry about it…”I will handle it”….he wrapped a towel around himself and let Roman in…to go back into the bathroom….with Roman following….

Monique went into the Living Room to listen and pretend to be reading…..

Roman pulled a gun out of the “laundry” he was carrying …shot Jimbo dead…and then started after Monique…who fled out the back kitchen door downstairs – toward the garages…only to find when she got there that it was dead bolt locked…

had to turn around and run past our kitchen to the flat above us…and FORTUNATELY…Vicky was home and let her in…..

Roman went back to the bedroom off of Jimbo’s bedroom (my Uncle’s old bedroom where he died..another story but wonderful)….and SHOT himself through the mouth….

I motored back from Bloomies in Century City totally oblivious to all this..(way before cell phones)….I was surprised to see the street cordoned off in that yellow tape…..helicopters zooming overhead..swat teams on the roofs of all the adjacent apartment buildings

..I told the police officer that I lived on the block….motored in to the garages …only to be approached by a black female cop as I was walking up the back stairs to the kitchen..who told me that Jimbo had been murdered…

I ran up the stairs…she said “You DO NOT want to see him…as it will scar you for the rest of your life”….

her tender thoughtfulness I will never forget….

Jimbo was one of those unique people you rarely are fortunate to encounter in your Life…..(the only other one is Michelle Bell)…..

I loved Jimbo and he loved me..(we never bedded though I knew he would have had I asked…as he told me he made the fattest most unpopular guy from his school in Li-hue Kauai.. happy by agreeing to have sex with him in exchange for mowing his father’s lawn………)

we were years apart.in age …but so sooo close….we traveled to my Aunt’s house at Forest Lodge.. the whole family loved him….to London, New York, Seattle, Houston together (and City Hall people that picture in the Jimbo memorial…with Jimbo kissing a drag queen…was taken in Houston….on Halloween…where we were visiting one of my lovers the former Parking Manager of Weho…..and his wife)

he asked me just before he was murdered “Robert…do you think we can Always Live together – you with your lovers and I with mine…for the rest of our lives…..

the familiar is such a comfort ….until you lose it…

so hold close…Never Let Go Of the Familiar…….. as without a blink of an eyelash…

It might be taken away!!!!

(sigh…must get back to practicing my tuba)

3 Responses to “Never Let Go”

  1. Richard said

    So Happy you did such a wonderful job playing the tuba at the wedding, My oh My, your stories are always so heart warming–or chilling. What a fab life with its ups and downs. R&R

  2. susi said

    I think the whole family loved Jimbo,dear man

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