Love Me Anyways

August 15, 2014

As I was dining at LaLa’s this eve….reading an article in the New York Mag…about the model Jamila Loubriel……how she poses for students….

she says: “Going through boot camp when I was in the Coast Guard was the hardest experience of my life. But being sculpted has been one of the best – to get to see myself immortalized is amazing…..

this made me flash back to the actress Tuesday Weld’s mother.”Jo”..whom my lover Paul had named “Wednesday”…and her son (Tuesday’s brother) “Thursday”…

Wednesday…..asked me to sit for her…as she was a sculptress….

it was as unbearable as the times I had sat for Don Bachardy….where I would summon ALL of my Eye energy to make his and her chair collapse – to free me from holding one position forever….

Wednesday..was a fascinating character…she had false teeth that were QUITE loose…and clacked a lot…… lived well in almost poverty…which at the time…amazed me …since Tuesday at the time was doing very well…..

I later realized she was quite an alcoholic……..

as I was musing, one of my regular waiters came up to thank me for giving him money for his wedding……(he does not have much money)………..next week….

I asked if his wedding attire was ready…he said Yes….he was wearing khaki shorts….a blue shirt…a vest…and a bow tie…..

BUT he had never tied a bow tie before and had gone online….to find out how…but said he just couldn’t t get it…..

I told him it was very easy…… I had to learn way back when…

to attend the Debutante parties I went to in DC…

already pre-made bow ties were a No No…you were looked down upon as they could be spotted a mile away

I did not have a ribbon or piece of string but told him multiple times until he GOT It!!!!

I asked about his husband to be….he said Well he is cutting out his pattern now…(guess he is a clothes designer)…..I asked him if he knew what it was going to look like….he said …well I am not totally sure…but he designed this outfit for a girlfriend not too long ago…and he was doing the same thing in a more masculine look…..

it basically starts with a tank top….and you add….well all sorts of stuff…that ends in some sash around the waist……

but he said his partner is REALLY NERVOUS….(they have known each other for 1 year)…..he told his partner it was OK to drink on this occasion…….

I said …you mean your friend is an alcoholic????? he said yes…..I said well in all honesty….you REALLY should not encourage him to drink….I said does he attend AA…he said yes for several years…..have him smoke weed…he said his lover won’t…..

I told him that alcoholism is a (genetic?) disease…that one cannot help having or control…and there is no cure for…as Depression and Parkinson are also incurable ……(this is something so few people will accept or realize…)

the wonderfully Brilliant Robin Williams who ended his life recently….I so understand why….

the hate mail his daughter got on her Twitter account….just abhors me….

all I can think of, “Lord Of The Flies” never will leave us..

where people can be sooo cruel…

she has had to withdrawn from Twitter…

but I was telling this charming waiter my experiences with Alcoholic Lovers……way back when I did not really know what it was…before AA was “acceptable”

John – my first experience in the 80’s…I took him to the Rose Tattoo to celebrate the fact his Aunt gave him a new car……we did not live together yet….he got quite snockered….(later I realized when he had ONE beer his personality TOTALLY changed…Dr Jekyll Mr Hyde)…

as we drove out of the parking lot onto Robertson to go back home…he pulled very fast in front of a car…well the guy honked at him for pushing his car into the line….John…tore his glasses off and threw them at me …and went and started physically punching the guy out after he dragged him from the car

…… stopped and told him to follow to the Sheriff’s Station on the next block over on San Vicente….John whipped his car around the corner into the Sheriff’s station…

I said “John are YOU FUCKING CRAZY???…this is the police station…THEY have outdoor camera’s monitoring this lot…and YOU were 100% in the wrong!!!

He immediately backed up his car..parked on a side street…and we went back to the Rose til it closed …

(his car being brand new…did not have plates on it)

We lived together for brief several months…as I like so many was in denial about his alcoholism……

.but I do remember years later he came into my office at my shop Elizabeth’s Staircase ..on Sunset Blvd….to ask me if I would forgive him (I did not realize that this was part of the AA program)….which I did….he died a few years later of AIDS

and then there was my LAST lover…Gil…..I did not know he was heavily into drugs……until I had to pay off one of his suppliers…he swore he would never go there again…I took him to many places…but the LAST was London….I had planned all of our days…..and evenings…

in London back then…the City was divided into districts…where one could only drink until 11:00 and then one could go a block away into another district and drink until 2…..

well I did not know that one of the most popular gay bars in London closed at 11:00….it was winter…requiring sweaters and overcoats….we ordered our first drink….only to find out 10 min later that they were closing…..

well Gil flew into a RAGE!!! Cussing me out for not knowing…..

the bartender told us of the bar around the corner….which we went to….it was 3 floors…with the upper two cut out so one could look down on the action of the first floor….where there was a circular bar……

well as soon as we got there – I went for drinks for us….Gil disappeared…..and never showed back up…I was worried about him as he had never been to London before……

I left at 1:30 for the hotel….

at 5:30….outside our room that fronted on the street…I heard all this laughter…looked out and saw Gil kissing 3 guys…..

when he appeared in the room….I said I was worried about you….

he said “Well I was upstairs with my new friends watching you the whole time squirm down below”

Well that DID it!!!!!

I could not WAIT to get back home…….

I was still in denial though…until one night at home (I and two others owned the building)…. at 1342 N Laurel Avenue Apartment 105…..he smashed a champagne glass in my face……

I said “Gil…it is OVER!!!! Get OUT!!”

He refused to…unless I gave him $40,000….I told him not only would I not…but I did not have the money…he said..well your mother does…(I had taken him to Forest Lodge…where my whole family met him)..

so he did not leave

until one day…he was just gone…when I got home….taking the piano I had given him….a TV….Crystal stemware I had been collecting …but most valuable to me …all the pictures I had of Jimbo….

months later I found out when I called a dear friend Paula….(her husband had been my boss – the Parking Manager of West Hollywood)…

I had an affair with both of them….use to fly down to Houston…and MAN what a time we had ….Paula slept in the middle and would say “Boys if anyone gets fucked…it is ME”

when I called Paula ..she said “Robby…didn’t you get my letter…in which I said Dan (a Beefy ex-Marine) would come up and break Gil’s legs…..”

I realized then that is why Gil left.(he had met Dan)..also realized he had been opening all of my mail….

as I walked back home…I came across a stencil in red on the Melrose Avenue sidewalk …….. that said: …

“Love Me Anyways”

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