Ohh…..Agnes…Just LIVE!!!!!

November 22, 2014

The longer I live in my “hood”…the more I love it…as it is SO Unique!!!

reminds me of the Village before it changed ……

It is totally ungentrified …..actually kind of seedy…..which is why I TOTALLY hope it doesn’t change…knowing in the back of my mind that is impossible…thinking of how I loved Times Square area in NYC….back in the 90’s.. before it was Disney-fied..

when I went there with my old friend Jimbo (the guy murdered by his ex in my apartment)…..

he introduced me to the sex joints off of Times Square….he also introduced me to fast food …..McD’s and his fave Jack ……

this one sex joint…… we entered after watching the ball drop for New Years ..

around 2:30 AM……

a Hispanic guy was hosing down the floors …

on the first floor..(cement..easier for hosing)….was the hetero area…on the second floor was the Gay area….which we climbed the stairs to….

there were cubicles on every floor that you paid to rent to watch a live performance

and a slot in the window where you slipped a bill to wave it toward him/her so he/she came toward you and did a more (Ha!!) intimate performance…

as then you felt it was ALL for you…..Ralph……………

…..we went into two separate ones – with a cubicle in between us…

as you not only watched the action in front of you…but could put a quarter for the curtain to rise to view WHO was in the booth next to you..and behold what they were doing……………

we did not want to open that curtain to see each other…….

as I walked home tonight on Melrose…the Tattoo parlor was in action…

the comic book store I laughed at their oversize gum ball machine…

in front of the vintage costume clothing shop…the usual tatted owner and his girl (?) and his man (?) were sitting out smoking in their chairs

a table held their beers…

in front of this shop a photographer was snapping two “models” in precariously pencil thin stilettos….in their ohhh soo tight …..sequinned dresses…..

SOOO brutally mascaraed ….that you weren’t sure if they were drag queens….but somehow knew they were real women….what with the “drag” look so popular with some hetero’s………..

ahh Danny….no wonder ALL men LOVE you!!!

walked by the McMansion that sold for 2.8 million at the beginning of my block…two Argentinian men were on the second floor balcony…in their overpriced outdoor wicker arm chairs……with their backs to the street….smoking weed……..laughing…smoke spiraling toward the stars……

I saw today the movie “Homesman”….starring Hillary Swank…..

written …starred in…… and totally done by Billy Lee Jones…whom I sort of admire…and this movie is STRANGE!!!!…Weird…..

it is a Western set back when the West….was a desert bowl….Grapes of Wrath period…and Hillary is this VERY ballsy woman…ploughing her fields and dying to get married and screwed…..but alas no guy wants her as she is as ugly as a “tin can”……..she volunteers to wagon wheel back to Iowa to I guess a sanitarium 3 wives who have gone crazy …so totally that their husbands have to tie them up….no man will take them back so she does….

and as she sets out…with the 3 nonspeaking crazy women…(one being Meryl Streep’s daughter Grace Gummer…Meryl has a cameo at the end playing the Methodists minister’s wife in Iowa)…..

she encounters Billy Lee Jones talking to his horse…his hands tied behind his back….but with a noose around his neck…going up over a tree limb…..so that when his horse moves he will be hanged…..

anyway she cuts him loose…promises him 300 buck if he helps her cart the 3 loonies back to Iowa…

a trip of 5 weeks…..

a trip with attacking Native Americans…. thieves…lots of snow……and the Midwestern bleakness of “Fargo”………….

She toward the end of the trip and the movie…asks him to marry her…saying she knows she is Ugly as an old tin can…..that she has money and acreage… is still young enough to have lots of children…..

he says no…

next scene…she appears nude in front of the fire flaming besides his buffalo skin covered body (it is cold out)….he gets up and sheds his pants….and they fuck as the loonies tied up to the wheels of the wagon gape….

next scene is Jimmy Lee waking up…with his pants on but no one with him under the buffalo skin……

next scene….you see Hillary TOTALLY clothed…bonnet on….hanging from a very HIGH limb of a tree…..

WTF?????

it is all so Crazy you cannot help but laugh and wonder WHAT Jimmy Lee REALLY thinks of women……

as for me a REALLY strong…… well off woman….who finally gets fucked would not put a bonnet…. the rest of her clothes on and shimmy to a REALLY high limb and hang herself……………….

I searched the web for WHY…only to read that BACK in those days….being screwed was not acceptable for a church going unmarried woman…….

all of this made me think of an article I read in “The Atlantic”….”The Real Roots Of Midlife Crisis”…..about how Happiness just grows and grows after one passes their 40’s…and gets really stronger in one’s 70’s…..

it is about the U-curve…..it says: ” Midlife crisis begins sometime in your 40’s, when you look at your life and think, IS THIS ALL??? And it ends about 10 years later, when you look at your life again and think, Actually, this is pretty good.”

they found this true of all cultures and even in primates…our dear chimps…..

the author (Jonathan Rauch..who is Gay)…. says: “In my 40’s, I found I was obsessively comparing my life with other people’s: scoring and judging myself, and counting up the ways in which I had fallen behind in a race.”

“when the future becomes less distant, more constrained, people focus on the present….the goals that are chronically activated in old age are ones about meaning and savoring and living for the moment”

so as I peruse this vitiligoed balding TIn Face in my mirror…..

I certainly ain’t going to haul myself up into a tree…..

I AM going to go out and grab my dear friend Nabil……to dance away the hours as they drip off this year………………

LIFE is sooo Wonderful…

forget WHAT the voices in your head say…….

…forget what the mirror says……..

Agnes just LIVE!!!!

as No One Can Do It Better Than YOU!!!!!

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