Rear Window

February 13, 2015

WOW!!

They have rented the flat across from me….”Rear Window”…..here we go again….

(and for you Millennials)…”Rear Window” is a FABULOUS Classic movie that Alfred Hitchcock made with James Stewart and the ohhhh so classically beautiful Grace Kelly in 1954 when I was 8

just got back from LaLa’s and two obviously 20 something Gay guys were hanging up drapes (well they are not called that anymore are they Scarlett)…..levolor blinds or whatever…..

they are quite attractive as we all were back in our 20’s….(sigh)….though I NEVER appreciated it then….looking back on the old photos…I can see why..

when I was out watering Paul’s front yard…at 8937 Keith Ave in WEHO……

an extremely attractive guy walked by and asked “Do You Want to get HOT!!”

I looked around to see who he was talking to…..and then turned red and demurely said in my best Scarlett voice……”Gosh no”…….

nothing like low self esteem…and this was BEFORE AIDS and having to wear a condom…(sigh)

when I moved in 16 years ago to this joint . as I looked out my window…one could see the WHOLE Hollywood Hills….as my bedroom sits on the 4th…well really the 5th floor of this townhouse…the casa next to me was one of those old “Spanish” ..one level………….houses built back in the 30’s….that were basically built for the farmers and people with low income…and not the more well to do people

well they offered Cindi ….. the gimp (oh one can not use that word anymore…I mean disabled…but using that word you have NO Idea what her disability is….that’s why I hate these PC words
…I mean EVERYONE is “Asian” from the Chinese…to the Indians…and Vietnamese……as Rita would say can’t we call a chink a chink…and I would say no no Jim they are Chinese…but now they are Asians…(sigh!!)

anyway they offered Cindi beaucoup bucks to move with her sweet Golden Retriever..so they could bulldoze the casa down and build this 4 story modern monstrosity….I am thankful that they set the building back…so I can still see a bit of the Hollywood Hills…actually the path up to Runyon Canyon from my bedroom

……if they had blocked my total view I would have left…as I need frankly a Vista…and not a blank wall or a window to stare into….as the thought process is held captive….

I thought the building was going to be condo’s…but they turned it into apartments….that now rent for $3600….the one across from me has been empty for like 4-5 months which is the longest it has Ever been empty……………..so these guys must have stellar credit….

I think like 4 couples..of different sorts……have lived there…for at least over 2 years each ….

the first were 2 Gay guys…one white and one Asian (CHINESE…Ha!!)….young they both played tennis a lot…

.then there was a married (straight) couple..who had the worst fights…I think she left the sonofabitch….they were there 2 years..until the economy soured ……

and then two straight guys… I will NEVER forget walking down my stairs at 3:30 AM to have breakfast before I went to work …to see one fucking this young Russian girl on the bar……while his roommate was fucking her girlfriend in the Living Room……they did NOT close their drapes Scarlett….

later on one girl of the night came over when the guys were not home and at 3AM…pulled the outside Fire Alarm…and when the Police and Fire Dept arrived was screaming how those guys DID her Wrong……(she was high as a kite)…..guess they did not pay her…..

then the last was this one Gay guy who had other guys live with him for periods at a time…

he was shortish…tatted ….hunky…bearded…I guess you would call him a bear in Gaytalk….he was in his late late 30’s or 40’s…

always had to have a BIG car…or Truck…which he preferred…the kind that wouldn’t fit into a normal parking spot…extended cab….he was always outside washing and polishing it….he must have been into drugs …as he use to get into the worst fights ..

will never forget looking out “Rear Window” and seeing this twink ….as he left crying later towing his suitcase…..he must have become “sober” as several months later on July 4th he had a BIG party with only men….and all they were drinking was water and sodas…….

he then ended up with a guy who was a tatted “bear” – but younger….who gussied up the place with plants etc….he had a green thumb…..

one night when I came home…POOF!…they were gone….packed their plants and barbecue and disappeared into the fading sunset…..

and you Know…I feel sort of awful…that I have never talked to any of these people…well frankly I never had any desire to put on a skirt and take them over an apple pie…..

I am sort of a curmudgeon …my German Grand on my mother’s side never talked…..then on my Dad’s side we have the well known brooding Danes……from whom the Matteson’s descended….

BUT I caught my self today…as I was walking to the gym ….around this construction site…there was this frame…smashed with Butterflies still on the poster board……the cheap glass was every where…there was this young, overweight, White…ordinary looking Girl walking toward me in her cutoffs…a toy poodle on a leash…and I don’t know WHERE my voice came from….

I said…something this old Dane/German never said before….

“WATCH OUT for the glass!!!”

She pulled her ear pods out and said “Ohh Thank you Very Much”

ohh one last thing…remember “Frida’s” apt from last week…and “The Shop With No Hours”….

well as I was walking back from LaLa’s…….marveling at a new joint across Melrose…named …something “Phoenix”….these guys were all doing exercises to the command of a trainer…his mike boomed out across the street…I looked to see if any were my age…alas no..they were ALL millennials….(sigh!!)…guess my days of asking to get Hot By a passing stranger are not to be…Blanche

but when I looked up at Frida’s window…(another “Rear Window” ..voyeur episode)

all of her lights were ON…so I mozied…up the street to see if her shop was open…and alas I passed by the entrance to the patio…and saw a women with her legs crossed sitting on a bench….but when I got to the front door it was closed as usual….so I walked back to the gate…whereupon I discovered that the woman was a mannequin…and as I was peering into this wonderful patio…I heard “HALT”….and it was the bouncer who lived in Frida’s apt and who owned “The Shop With No Hours'”…..

her saying “Halt” brought back memories from 1964 when John Peter Ashely Moutbatten Bernhardt (and yes that is his full name), John Calhoun, and I traveled after we graduated from STA through Europe using the popular book “Europe On 5 Dollars a Day”……and every where we went we only saw Americans with the same book…so we tossed it in a bin after a week….

but this “Halt”…reminded me of when we went from what was West Germany into East Germany on the autobahn to get to Berlin…..it REALLY was scarey…as it was at night…and there was barb wire EVERYWHERE…plus barking Attack German Shepherds……

Steph..the owner….of Frida’s and the shop…was walking fast toward me…asked me WHAT I was doing…nothing I said…thought you were open…she said I GUESS NOT…I am just moving stuff from one venue to another…..turns out there was a shop that had gone out of business around the corner…

she had an old dildo and several wrought iron brackets in her hand

But THIS “Rear Window” voyeur has FINALLY acquired a Voice….

(sigh!!!)

2 Responses to “Rear Window”

  1. Richard said

    Love, love, love it!!!! I remember moving into an apt in Milwaukee and hanging Austrian sheers on the windows–two guys from across the street came over and brought me some champagne–they said they knew a “Sister” had moved it–another Rear window episode. Happy Valentines Day R&R

  2. Diana Skrah-Devers said

    This ‘episode’ had me laughing and smiling throughout Robby; thanks. See you tomorrow; looking forward to it!

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