Unplug ALL you have…..

September 19, 2016

I don’t really know why I am so cranky today…..
 
it was just one of those days where everything did not go as planned…
 
maybe it is because…. 

….I have always been anal…

schedules…sweaters having to be arranged just so….

in the old day tons of paper maps so I knew where I was trying to get to way before I set out to go there…..

 
must be my father’s influence who had to  have these large scale maps…these smaller scale maps….and then ones even smaller…
 
but then that was for  the Arctic canoe trips ( I went on 5 of them) when we flew  on a chartered plane up into the Canadian  Wild. onto some lonely, uninhabited lake……..where we…well I did…suffer for 30 days before we got back to civilization or before the Canadian Mounties were sent out to find us ( which never  happened as “Old Hawkeye”…ALWAYS accomplished what he set his mind to…even when all the maps were lost in a smoldering rapids)
 
Maybe getting Cranky…is just a part of Life…..as your body sags (thank God I am not a woman…as my tits would be dragging on the floor now….even with the bra on…..)
 
Today I awoke 14 minutes later than I usually do as I was in some dream beating up Eddie Stow..who use to bully me in “Lower School” at St Albans…..he and his goons always looked for me at recess and kicked me in the balls…in front of Everyone……
 
and then my eyes must have blinked like 300 times as I was trying to make myself a cup of coffee….well my eyes turned so red….and of COURSE…my old bottle of Visine only had like 1 1/2 drops left…..then my eyes started to hurt…and I was not sure if it was because the Visine bottle was so out of date…or it was due to my blinking 300 times…..
 
so I had to take to my bed before I even had a chance to Helen Keller search for my banana on the top of the  fridge…..
 
so I laid there…..
 
my diaper green eye mask on that I got on some flight with Virgin……
 
and these thought of Eddie Stowe came back…
 
and I got madder and Madder…
 
no no Rob just breathe in and just breathe out…think peaceful thoughts….
 
yeah RIGHT…just try that when your day has not started out as you anally planned it….(stop smirking Marv)
 
I went to the gym…and of COURSE the easy Elliptical machines were ALL occupied by these people much fatter than I….so I had to use the more uncomfortable ones where you have to pull your arms (and my left arm was hurting from pruning bushes)….and also treadle your feet…..
 
I suffered through it….thinking at first to only do it for a sissy (my father’s favorite expression) 10 minutes…but then  an enormous girl came and lumbered up  on the StairMaster in front of me…who thank God was so big … I could read her  Tats that were  Everywhere…..she would do this occasional perpendicular  thrust of her fat legs out toward me….as if …she were a ballerina…which I marveled at…
 
well that was the fastest 30 minutes I have ever spent on the elliptical…..
 
my cleaning girls…there are 3 of them……….. come at 11:30ish….twice a month….
 
so I go to the first movie….at the Mary Pickford….and today…since my computer tech was coming over at 1 to set up a new modem I had bought..(so I could save the $10 a month it cost tor rent from Time Warner…plus the $50. he said I did not need to spend for the “faster speed”)…the only movie that met my anal slot was a Spanish movie…a comedy….
 
well I and a Mexican couple were the only ones in the theatre….
 
and of course I sat in the first row that has the bar where you can rest your legs…well I found out that the bar prevented me from seeing the bottom line of the subtitles…I slumped into my chair so I could see them both…but that was super uncomfortable….I mean my legs were over my head (Marv stop laughing)….so I sat UPRIGHT…where I felt like an ostrich….
 
I could have so easily switched seats to the row behind me…but OH NO…super anal me did not want to disrupt the other two people in the theatre…..
 
my tech guy was NOT on time…..so I paced up and down….and thought WHAT in the Hell are you so f-ing upset about…as YOU are RETIRED…where time is NOT supposed to matter…..I mean WHERE do you have to be….
 
well I have to be at the library to keep doing my research….
 
and  I have to take Time Warner’s modem back….
 
 
just breathe in and out..and RELAX….
 
I HATE that fucking breathing in and out exercise….it resurrects my emphysema…
 
now Robby…there is NO such thing in the Christian Sciences dictionary…..as “emphysema”
 
well I Never was one….especially when I had to sit at the front of the children’s section at the CS Church…. on a stool …looking like a dunce…as my grandmother played the piano……. lord it was embarrassing!!!
 
I have always been Metaphysical…..
 
and natch once I lowered my speed and returned the modem…it worked for a minute then crashed…..
 
I was Sooo Pissed…and texted my techie….he said Rob just breathe in and out…(I saw RED)..
 
 
UNplug ALL you have….
take time to Smile in the mirror at Yourself…
Plug it back in….
and then Everything WILL WORK!!!
%d bloggers like this: