Carol Was Gone

April 8, 2017

It was only several months ago..well OK last summer….

That I was bemoaning the loss of “my ducks” on my pond….

Well watch out for what you ask for as I have quite a gaggle at different times now…

I have two heterosexual pairs…and the SHEs must be about to deliver as why would they be hanging around….

Carol and Gregory…(he looks Russian) and she looks like an entertainer.. They show up at my kitchen door around 8 AM and then in the late aft….

she has an ample figure..as does he…think he likes his “Vatrushka’s” too much…Carol must put him on a diet

Then there is Liza…she has a Very Ample  Bosom…but is skinnier than Carol…whereas Bradley is one dude  a duckling could punch in the stomach…saying “Hi Dad!!!” leaving him in disbelief that a kid would notice his protruding belly….

As usual it is the females I care about..so get out rice and bread …for some reason they prefer the bread…guess it is less work than eating grains of rice….tried putting rice in a bowl with water and they just acted like a flying saucer had landed…

Skinny Liza and Bradley only show up late in the afternoon…guess they sleep late with their eye shades on…..and act like they are on meth…. as they twitch …looking around as though they might be about to be attacked at any moment…..

alas I had a lover once…way back when…who acted the same…this was BEFORE I knew he was on drugs…much less their effect….

I took him with me when I went to New York with my mother…and met Aunt Mimi…who took us to the Carlyle for dinner…she had a prime table in the center of the  restaurant…she lived just around the corner…on 3E 77th Street…her mother had bought (way back in the like the 30’s or before.. a floor with herself in one unit and Aunt Mimi in the other)…so Aunt M was a regular at the Carlyle…

When I asked her if she could cook….she said she DID know how to boil water but that was about it…as she had servants all of her life….and did not regret the fact she could not cook….

But when I took Gil that one night…

this Fabulous round table at the Carlyle where  several of Aunt Mimi’s posh friends and Mother were seated at….

Well Gil kept twitching looking over his shoulder…and complained to  Aunt Mimi that the waiters were staring at him…..

never have understood why he was seated next to her…but then she did like eccentric people..like Teddi Hamm of the Hamm’s Brewery who married an American Native…back then we all  called them “Indians”……

I thought “Oh oh”…..

And then after dinner when we were seated at the Front Table in “Cafe Carlyle”  Bobby Short performing…Aunt Mimi did not like the noise…or the spit coming from Bobby’s lips as he sang….. so left and walked  home….but Gil kept looking around like the Russian KGB was about to swoop  him up ….(which in hindsight I wish they had)

It was when I took him to London…. he was Sooo Awful to me….and HAD to get him back to the US…(funny now that I think of it WHY would I just not dump him over there)….

I guess his smashing his wine  glass in my face back in West Hollywood…that my tolerance REACHED its limit…he just had to go….

But back to my Mallards….I identified with Bradley and Liza looking over their shoulder …as last year…a hawk took away  8 kids/ducklings  in front of my eyes..as their Moma fought as much as she could…raising her wings and squawking in such decibels I never realized a duck had in them…..as the male just wandered onto the pond….

Which reminds me of when I heard the  noise from a bunny rabbit…who got caught  down in the stairwell of our house at 5020 Glenbrook Road in DC….and was being attacked by a stray cat…

MAN can they Shriek…reminds me of Florence Foster Jenkins…which reminds me of  our dear friend Richard Steele who dressed as her this last Halloween…gosh I Miss him Soooo ….

Then besides my hetero couples I have 5 Gay Mallards that always arrive in a whirlwind..as though it is Last Call …before the bar lights flash telling you to get out (gosh how I remember that so well)…

There is Larry, Ed,  Vance…(tho he might be gay) Jeffrey and Marvin….

And MAN can these guys do nothing but just squawk  up a storm….it is like an Old London Men’s club….they just strut around with their invisible cigars talking shit….

They have no interest in food..at times 2 of them fly off to the pond to water ski onto it….the others just squawking to each other

Tonight as the sunset…dusk fell….alone by herself…Carol appeared and merely sat herself down….she was not looking for food…

I guess Gregory was Out…hound dogging….which made me sigh……

When it became Pitch Black out I had to get my flashlight out…..

And she was gone…………….

2 Responses to “Carol Was Gone”

  1. Jack Balzer said

    I feel I must grab a bottle of wine and come and sit with you on your verandah and meet all your “pond neighbors”. How entertaining.
    Your Aunt MiMi must have been a hoot. Oh Robby the fascinating life you have had……I always wanted to go to the Caryle … the home of the late one and only Elaine Stritch.

  2. Omar said

    Gosh Robby I hate the scar that Gil left on your life story, wish I had been your friend then so I could beat the living shit out of him. BTW the gay mallards were named perfectly.

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