Don’t bother…this is too boringly long..I just have to commit it to paper…it is entitled: “Don’t Shatter the Crystal”

July 1, 2018

Well the pond looks like Beirut now…they have dumped sand Everywhere and torn up all the grass around….. by their  bulldozers and dump trucks….


And yet I Do have a smattering of ducks that fly in and look down confusedly at what was once their pond…before they waddle across the whole  football pitch for breakfast or dinner….


I think some are babies that came here a couple of years ago…


2 I Know are from the brood of 8 or was it 9 (their siblings killed off by hawks or coyotes)…born this year…


The reason I know is that as baby’s… there were two that use to hop up onto my patio from the feed in the garden  6 inches below….to search for feed I had dropped by mistake…well these now..same two  Adult ducks do that…and to see them ..after they have eaten  fly off still with their mother… across what was once their pond….is so touching….


One of my best friends…Robert Parrish….said we Really Should motor down to Indio to a play  in Indio…well I served for a VERY short time on jury duty down there…and went to an “art” installation of graffiti with Nabil and Jeff…and when “Indio” comes to mind I think of gangbangers and almost trailer desert like bleak abodes   with graffiti everywhere..and a few Government structures that are SO designed that they tell you they were built with TOTALLY not much money as they are quite austerely chilly


I mean I think of it as the opposite of London….Paris…New York…or LA


We DID motor down and had dinner at a Wonderful authentic Mexican restaurant …then motored to the Theatre…which I assume must have been part of a civic project….as it was a True theater off of a main room that I think had a stage back of it…but a LARGE internal space….before you entered the theatre


As we entered this 9 year old girl said Very Boldly” “Good Evening Gentlemen…I AM your usher for “The 39 Steps” and I will show you to your seats”….she was wearing an off white one piece dress (quite chic) that fell just below her knees


Well after THAT I KNEW the night would be delicious…and it the play is farce, slapstick…just So Much Fun in this age where I refuse to turn on the TV or shy away from most articles on the front page of the NYT……something I use  to devour page to page everyday


Last night I went to a “Movie Party” at Ken and Nick’s…(the movie was “Love Simon”)…and it brought back the feeling of the 39 steps experience…Just Total Fun and Laughter…with a few tears….


Robert and I are going to London in September (9/11 is when we leave)….and I CANNOT wait…as I have been reading so much on Winston Churchill lately…in researching my novel that will be set in the 30’s…..a time when my mother and “Aunt Mimi” were in their 20’s and did see Hitler’s men..the Nazi’s parade through the town they were in…


We Will see our dear friends Brent and Terry who (well Brent will as Terry works) take us to Chartwell….hopefully connect with Terry for dinner….


And before that we will see Nicky Haslam in Cabaret at the Pheasantry with  with my old friends Joel Pellington who works I think for the NHA…(National Health)…and Tony Rayner…who works for the Brit FBI…I have NOT seen them in too long…something like 15 years…their son is now 23 and moved out on his own….


I have tried to get my FAVORITE radio talk show gal…Jo Good…BBC London..who comes on at 5 AM our time in PS…(1 PM their time)….as she had Nicky on her show last week…to join us but she said she thought she would have to be out filming a special at that time….


Nicky is a Total Character…knows/has known EVERYONE….is in some ways a Total Aesthete….a Brit born into money and society…has known everyone from Andy Warhol, Rupert Everett to the Stones…etc etc…

He bedded Anthony Armstrong Jones before Anthony married Princess Margaret….

There is an article in the Vanity Fair (2008) that says:

“In 1999 at age 60, he worried that he was beginning to look like Angela Lansbury and famously gave himself a head-to-toe makeover that was alarming, to say the least,  Hitherto a rather elegant figure with executive-silver hair and Saville Row three-piece suits, Haslam got an Extreme face-lift, dyed his hair jet black, and started wearing leather pants and a studded leather collar around his neck.  He sometime showed up at parties with his pants open so guest could see that he had dyed the carpet to match….”

The strange connection I have with Nicky is that his good friend Jane Ormsby Gore…well in the early 60’s I dated  (disastrously) her sister Victoria once….our mothers had arranged the date…(sigh back then Life WAS so different)….Victoria’s father was the UK Ambassador to the US….he was a Lord etc etc…

I drove into the Embassy grounds in my fathers old beaten up VW bug…the building Is Quite Impressive….a brick soaring structure…back then there was no security like today…just a guard at the gate who let me onto the grounds….I drove in across the gravel court yard.. Went up to the front door and pulled the doorbell…a few minutes later a butler opened and showed me down a Long hallway…into…what looked like the main Living Room…it had a Gigantic fireplace…glowing..was really the only light in the room…Lord Ormsby Gore and Sylvia Ormsby Gore sat in large Gothic high backed chairs…Mrs Gore..had on a Wonderful very colorful Turkish house coat….


I was scared to death until Mrs Gore embraced me…

Then Victoria entered in my hate color..a pea green frock of some sort…..(all of this was before I KNEW I was Gay…(sigh!!!))

(I was later to find out that Mrs Gore was killed in an auto accident, that Victoria’s brother Julian shot himself, her sister Alice who dated Eric Clapton died of a heroin overdose, that her sister Francis died of drugs, that Jane dated Mick Jagger and thus his song “Lady Jane”, that her father proposed to his old friend Jacqueline Kennedy (after JFK’s assassination)…. she turned him down..he did remarry but died in 1967 in a car accident)

One last thing…in that article in VF…Nicky (who I think has had 4 …10 year relationships)…says:

“The Quickest way to fall out of love is to sleep with somebody.  Don’t Shatter the Crystal.”

I have always felt this way…as the guy (Jimbo)  I Loved the Most and who loved me …well we were like brothers…he was 10 years younger…and one of the Most Wonderful men I have EVER met…we agreed to grow old together in a Large house…he with his lover and I with mine….

Until he was murdered by a jealous lover…. in the apartment we shared….



One Response to “Don’t bother…this is too boringly long..I just have to commit it to paper…it is entitled: “Don’t Shatter the Crystal””

  1. david clark said

    From British to bawdy to brutal … a smattering of it all ! Loved it.

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