Talking To The Past

September 30, 2018

I often Wonder if one should go “Back” to one’s past….well I am on my Class of 64’s email list….talking about issues today…. I have NOT corresponded with them except maybe once years ago as well I have always felt so removed from whom they were at the time …


but this was my response:


I agree with your sentiments…I think I am the only Gay Man from our class of 50 something….but I did not realize I was homosexual  until well it was just Never talked about…

my father’s brother was Gay but I did not realize it until after I graduated from College ….

being Homosexual was well just something one did not choose it was just a roll of the dice… the strange thing I never understood at the time was that I Soo Much preferred the company of women to men….

My father born in 1914 served in intelligence in the Army and caught one of the high ranking Nazi’s Ernest Kaltenbrunner during the war..I was born in 1946…when the war ended…my father I was Never That close to …but admired him …as his parents were killed…their car was hit by a gasoline truck when my father was a Sophmore at Carleton….both died

Father and Mother were really products of the Victorian/Edwardian time when the woman/wife was in charge of the kids and the father was not so much….we had Norwegian nannies … a Black laundress “Miss Alice” whom I just adored…as I would come back from STA and run down to  the basement..sitting on a crate… listening to her stories as she ironed my Father’s white shirts….she really was my second mother….…..and back then I could not understand why she had to come in…in the morning through the garage rather through  the front door….(looking back I feel it was Not something my parents insisted…it was just what was normal for the time period)

I did not realize we were “Entitled” as Everyone …all of my parents friends had a weekend house (“estate” in some ways today) ours was at Blue Ridge Summit PA….12 acres…a pond (well it really was originally built as a reservoir for the town but the natural spring that ran through the lower floor of the house built in the 1800’s did not produce enough water)…father stocked it with rainbow trout that we often caught for dinner….he built a sauna, a ski course, a tennis court, a paddle ball court, a touch football field where the Wonderful  Whizzer White from the Supreme Court use to come up and play on the weekends

We had a summer house on a peninsula  at the end of a mile long private driveway in from the County Road…in Northern Wisconsin…(Cable,WI) on Lake Namekagon which had been given to my parents by….(well that is a long story) very close friends of theirs….as a wedding present….so I grew up there and have summered there most every summer for over 60 years

Frankly I did Not like You  all as I was NOT a jock…..and back when I entered St Albans was Too underweight to get on the football team so was assigned with Peter Bernhardt, Peter True, Tim Simpson…to “Troop 19” (I think it was called) so we did not associate with most of our class…were sort of the outcasts…

This is getting Too long…but when I got to Carleton College in 1964 I was AMAZED that no one had had the experiences I had….as most of their parents worked.(both) ..and my how nice they all were/are…as I live now with a marvelous gay community ..alot from Milwaukee… Palm Springs…of men my age

The point of this diatribe…

(and oh our English Prof…Stan Willis was soo soo wonderful in instilling “Word Wealth” in us)…I think he might have been gay as was Dean Stanbaugh ( sp?) and others

….is that kids today have Such different Dad’s than we did who had just returned from the war….my nephew is one of the Most caring Dad’s I have EVER known…when I look at him with his children I so wish I had HAD a Dad like him…

But I was blessed with my Father and am glad for his love and acceptance of my being Gay

See you all for our 55th



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