The Explosive Early 80’s

April 3, 2019

Memories…so fragile…some never recognized….flow back…


I have been sorting (and trashing most) out.. all of my old emails…and blogs… posts…


letters from my mom…man Did we Enjoy Life after Dad died….we travelled to London many, many a time….and was she so ballsy..would camp outside of a Jazz venue on her cane….to see a new young jazz person she loved…well who could turn down an elderly woman with glacier Blue eyes…lipstick (“Elizabeth Arden’s Raspberry Lip Spa”) that  I had just helped apply…..wearing Elizabeth Arden’s “Red Door” perfume…


we were in Manchester and a young Jazz man was performing at this club…it was Freezing cold but Mom waited on her cane for an hour …tho it was sold out….she insisted….


she was irresistible….  allowed in and escorted down to the front to sit on a beer barrel in front of the musician…as I was allowed in to a smoke filled  side room to watch on a B/W TV monitor….


and of course Mom became Best friends with the artist…who was from Colorado and half my age….


I have had 7 long term lovers (over 5 years…the rest don’t count)…but I came across a letter from my Second lover Roger Billingsley…and we were together 6 years but drifted apart toward the end tho we lived together…this was in the 80’s…and I had gone to this “Actualizations” ..find-yourself workshop…and was intrigued by this Native American…Donny…he was 6’4” was an Albino…lived with his Mom out near the LA airport in basically an inexpensive one bedroom …well lets say cheap abode…they did not have any money….I don’t know if he hooked for a living…or what..I just fell in love with him


he Was Fabulous in bed..we would make love as his mother (100% Native American)…sat in her recliner in the front room watching soap operas…


he was the Odd Duck that I felt I had Always been….this was the early 80’s…he wore these Fabulous black leather boots with Stiletto heels….wore outrageously delicious  clothes that most  Men did NOT wear back then….and had a Totally WHITE face (like make-up had been applied) and  lightening blonde white hair…


I will never forget the expression on my Uncle Sumner’s face when I brought Donny in for dinner at his Gay Restaurant “The Garden District”…usually one could NOT shock dear Uncle Sumner….


there was this one night I returned to Roger’s house 8703 Ashcroft West Hollywood..and Roger wasn’t there so I went to bed..only to be awoken at 3 AM by Roger…drunk or drugged out of his mind…he was waving his cock in front of me and kept saying “Suck This!!!”


well I was horrified…

he started to hit me which he never had before…and I scrambled to put what I had worn earlier on…I had been wearing my favorite leather jacket at the time that Donny loved…it had leather fringe on it…so Gay and 80’s when I think back….


I ran through the Living Room…into the kitchen…out to the patio toward the gate to the street…it was I started to climb over the fence…Roger was right behind me and tore the jacket off my back….


I jumped over to the street…got in my car and raced over  to Uncle Sumner’s on Laurel


Sumner went over the next day to collect my clothes…Roger had thrown them ALL in to the cul de sac outside his house…


I just read for the First time his letter to me …explaining WHY he did what he did…this was written April 24 1981:


the first thing I need to say is the agony I have been through knowing that I hurt you so badly – physically and emotionally…I will try to tell you what and why I think I went beserk….(he goes on to say how he felt we had drifted apart after 5 years…due to his sexual problems )….

”never in my life was I allowed to be angry…as a child I could NOT be ANGRY with my parents, it simply meant being hit..Anger and being hit became the same to me..and all my life to escape being hit I would sublimate my anger…I have Never in my Life been hit in the face, nor have I Ever hit anyone, until last night…when I went beserk last night it was like all the ANGER of my Life was unleashed…I feel strongly that my Frightening you was Really my Own…


and the last page is missing… he came…many years later….. into my shop “Elizabeth’s Staircase” in the posh area on Sunset Plaza …that I owned with the Fabulous Liz Nesser…Clark Gable’s sister-in-law… I was then on  my third lover…

Roger tried to make amends but I was Still so hurt…and didn’t talk to him….

he not too much later died of Aids



One Response to “The Explosive Early 80’s”

  1. Danny said

    You certainly have lived many Tales of the City!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: