I thought back through the files of my memories to when was the First time…..

 

and it came back very fast…my parents…(well my mom) had a toilet seat (quite used and marred ..scratched  by my older sister) for kids …which must have been quite prevalent back in the 40’s

 

…it was wooden and had arms on it and sat on the toilet…and in my mind it had seat belts…which of course it couldn’t have had as there were no seat belts in cars back then….the front seat in cars was Wonderful as it was one long bench  seat where 3 or 4 of you could sit…(.if you were small..or dwarfish)

 

and if you fell off the toilet Father thought it would be Good for you…as you  learned a lesson…and you know he was right when I think of these helicopter parents today….

 

she would turn on the tap to make the sound of water cascading out of your penis…(as if..)

 

 Mom would sit on the edge of the tub ( I imagine her smoking like Bette Davis..she was Always Sooo Glamorous ……which was impossible as she did not really smoke…well OK …when she had an occasional Vermouth during “cocktail hour”)

 

but she would sit there staring at you until you did your  business…no wonder I have ALWAYS been pee shy….

 

and as far as taking a dump….well I don’t remember that in those early days…but later in my teens on my dad’s 500 mile canoe trips in the Canadian Arctic…where we were flown in by private pontoon plane and left for 30 days to complete our journey (the Mounties would not come looking for us until then…and this is before any kind of portable phone)…NO one lived up there…and This was NO picnic…just the incessant flies and an occasional bear and lots of caribou …nothing but scrub brush….so it was hard to get a fire going as no wood/logs

 

it was True Hell…as the mosquitoes were relentless (when we went to “bed”…the midnight sun never set as it was summer and we were above the Arctic Circle…but hundreds of mosquitoes would be ALL over the tent….licking their lips until we came out)…I mean we wore mosquito head nets…and rubber bands around our pants to keep out the black flies…gloves on…

 

but to take a dump…FORGET It!!! …there were no logs to sit on…as the Arctic Circle  is above the tree line…so you squatted…and were attacked by mosquitoes….

 

and this for 30 days…. tho Dad always tried to beat the old  Canadian voyageur’s …as he read their diaries …so we usually came in like around 25 days….

 

but I am Still Alive…..

 

Life Unravels So  Unexpectedly Wonderfully……

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